


It Worked (But I Didn't Want It To)

by Solariac



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, No Romance, POV Alternating, Spinel still isn't a bad person, Steven Needs A Therapist, but treat it like movie relationships, closest is low-key connverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2020-11-01 07:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20811227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solariac/pseuds/Solariac
Summary: Spinel was convinced that the scythe would only damage his gem half. As it turns out, not everything goes as planned.Alternatively, Steven adds to the list of personally traumatizing things that the gems weren't around to see.





	1. An Undesirable Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should mention that this is inspired by several different AUs of the movie, but with my own specific retelling of events!
> 
> That being said, a huge inspiration for the whole 'scythe working' gimmick was @Spudinacup on Tumblr. I'd encourage you to check out their hella cool comic au with PD!Steebs

It wasn't supposed to turn out this way.

_ "Aww, what's the matter, Steven? Miss your friends already? Well don't worry, you're right behind em!" _

The whirl of the pink scythe against the relatively calm breeze filled his ears as Spinel spun towards him, weapon wielded in her hands. Steven began to move his shield into a position to where he could intercept the weapon, but what he didn't realize is that it was no ordinary scythe. It cut through his shield as easily as a knife on butter. He instinctively shut his dark eyes and ducked away from the blow as his shield dispersed into thin air.

When he opened his eyes moments later, the first thing he noticed was a dull sting resonating within his nerves. Something felt odd, but he couldn't point out what it was. Glowing pink lines laced his skin, which sort of reminded him of regular gem destabilizers._ What was that? Some kind of pink destabilizer? _ This, however_, _ felt different than the normal tickle from one of those. It almost _ hurt _ . _ What did she- _

The dull stinging lapsed into a sudden burning as the pink lines retracted, and Steven fell to his knees with a sharp hiss. His hands slammed out in front of him, his body hunched over the grass. He frantically glanced around for an explanation of what just happened, and the first object to grab his attention was his own right hand. From the bottom of his hand to the beginning of his wrist, a small, dripping line of scarlet discolored his sleeve as well as the fresh green grass below him. It was a cut, but a minimal one at that._ That couldn't be the cause of all of this pain, right? _

_ Wait, the gem! Focus! _

He snapped his head upwards to look back at the pink gem who had attacked him, but that only caused him an explosion of pain from the sudden movement. Stars danced in his vision as his chest _ seared _ . That was it. It was more than just his slightly injured hand after all. Now that he knew of where the source most likely was, he could hardly dare himself to look down. _ You have to do it, Steven. _ He willed himself. _ It'll only get worse if you don't look at _ ** _something_**_. Wound or the gem, both are important right now. _ All he could see from where he collapsed were the two pink shoes of the foreign gem a few feet away, but they appeared to be frozen where they stood. Safe enough, he supposed. It wasn't the best motivator nor assurance he could come up with, but it was better than nothing. Steven drew in a breath, and slowly tilted his head in the direction of his chest.

That was a mistake.

A long cut ran diagonally from his right shoulder all the way down to his left hip, the injury located barely above the gem in his stomach. Steven's own light blue shirt was not only torn in the described line, but the color was a mess of angry purples as the wounds continued to bleed onto the fabric as well as the ground below him. He moved his left hand up to touch the wound, only to have it jerk away the moment it made contact. A sharp cry echoed in his own ears as his body slumped to the side without his consent. He writhed in agony while his now blood covered hands ripped at the scarlet-turned grass beneath him.

_ "...Steven?" _

Coherency was still on the table. Whether that was a good or bad thing, he'd have to figure it out. _Think, Steven Universe! She's_ _still here!_ He suppressed a whimper while surveying the area from his state on the ground. What he did notice was that the pink gem hadn't moved since he was initially struck. She had some kind of unreadable expression, and the moment that they made eye contact, her bloodied scythe clattered to the ground before the pink energy powering it faded. Blood, _his _blood, covered her gloves and dots of drying scarlet tainted her face. Her eyes were blown wide in horror, but neither of them said a word, not even when Steven squeezed his eyes shut with a pained grunt. 

Now that the imminent threat wasn't as present, a singular thought popped into his mind._ Of course! Healing spit! _ He could fix this before the gems reformed, right? Not wanting to waste any time, his left hand dragged limply across the mess of blood and towards his mouth. He promptly licked the palm of his hand, and slid it to press up against the incision. His tongue was practically tainted by the metallic taste of his own blood, but that didn't matter right now. All he had to do was _ heal it _. Another wave of agony and fire spiraled through his body, and he had no choice but to move his hand away from his wound after the spit made contact. Surely that meant it was working, right?

He waited.

_ Nothing _ happened. The only reaction he received was the unexplained dull flickering of his gemstone. 

"It won't work." 

His breathing had grown heavier with the attempted use of his powers, but he still managed to work up enough oxygen to speak. "W-What..?" He rasped, his voice slightly cracking midway through the word. The once-frozen invader had spoken, but that had only been at a mumble. 

"Your gem, your powers. They won't _ work_!" She repeated. Her hands reached up to tug at her messy pigtails. It was also noted that she made no threatening advances towards the fallen hybrid. 

"What do you-"

"You took a hit from my rejuvenator! You shouldn't be here, not like _ this_!" Her voice reached a tone akin to panic. Gloved hands dropped from her pigtails, and her frown only grew more distraught as she surveyed her own bloodied hands. "I don't want to play this game anymore, it's all _ wrong_!"

A game? _ Is that all this was to her? _ He could possibly be _ dying _ yet all she had to say about this was that it was a misunderstood _ game_?

Steven opened his mouth to retort, but was immediately rendered speechless as another strangled hiss ripped through clenched teeth. He couldn't even tell how deep or shallow the wound was, and he didn't even possess the energy to check himself out further than what was already assessed. Something had to be done, but his body refused to move no matter how hard he willed it to do so. His partially unfocused eyes settled on Spinel's distraught form. This is all he had left. The gems were poofed for who knows how long, his dad was probably at the car wash minding his own business, and Connie left for space camp no more than an hour ago. Desperation filled his body with a little pinch energy as he extended a scarlet-dripping hand to the unknown gem. 

"Please…" Steven voiced in a level barely above a whisper. "Gems? Connie? Dad? _Someone__?_ _ " _ He pleaded openly before his arm dropped limply back onto the ruined grass with a soft thump. His eyes could only remain open by a mere fraction as newly formed tears slid down his dirtied cheeks. 

Everything began to blur, or at the very least fall out in front of him. Any focus he had left was lost by now, and he was _ terrified. _ What would the gems do if they came back and he was _dead? _ A pathetic whimper was set free while his mental pleas of _ pull it together, Universe! _ and _ Stay awake! _ went out on deaf ears. He knew it was coming, yet he had no way to stop it.

His last bit of coherency began to drain away as the sounds of Beach City and the pink gem faded to a dull hum. Steven gave one last attempt to grab the phone in his pocket, but all he managed to do was litter the screen in blood before it fell from his hands. His left hand fumbled around in the grass to find it for a couple of seconds before blindly opening his contacts and hovering his hand over a specific contact that he knew where to tap by heart. The phone gave a rumble in response, and he managed an almost hopeful smile. Everything began to twist and turn in front of his half-lidded eyes, and a rough cough forced its way up his throat. His attention snapped back to his phone, but he had lost the energy to even drag it over to himself, let alone speak.

_ He couldn't even hear his own phone ringing anymore. _

A pitiful, croaking laugh bubbled painfully from his chest, and ended with an abrupt wheeze. He was going to die here. He was going to die by the hands of a gem who his own mom most likely mistreated. It was almost funny, really. The person who brought him to life would also be the one the cause it to end. A gentle sob shook him, and his breath rattled against it all. His shaded eyes then closed completely, and he could feel himself slipping out of consciousness.

For a second it felt as if he were jostled or lifted by some kind of outside force. Whatever happened, it had aggravated his injury even more. His mind went on a sudden shutdown as he tried to figure out what was going on outside of his own head. From that moment on, his personal agony became too difficult to bear, and the world around him fizzled into a sea of darkness.


	2. Nevermind the Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie was supposed to go to Space Camp that very same day. Unfortunately, fate had other plans in mind for her.

It was a fairly decent drive to get to Space Camp, and Connie knew it. She had been dozing off in the passenger's seat while her mother sped down the highway. This was actually the most boring thing that had happened today. Today was an unusually eventful day, or at least it was in her opinion. Like she had been anticipating, Steven had arrived back on Earth before she left, and somehow their short interaction brightened her entire day. That's how their interactions usually went anyways, but it felt more special considering she was about to leave for an entire week. Her cheek leaned down to rest gently on her hand while a wholesome smile crept onto her face. At least she would be in a good mood when they arrived in about an hour.

"Connie?" Priyanka had questioned, automatically snapping her out of her daze. The teenager glanced over at her mother, who also happened to be pointing at her bag near her feet. "Your phone is ringing."

"Oh!" She blinked owlishly with a slight blush dusting her cheeks. Connie didn't think she spaced out that badly. True enough, her phone was buzzing with what she assumed was a phone call. Once she leaned down and unzipped the bag, she rolled her eyes at who was lighting up on the screen. _Steven 🌠._ _Can't even leave for an hour and he already misses me? _Connie internally teased while shaking her head. Well, better not leave him hanging. He probably was going to gush about something involving Little Homeworld again, and she wouldn't be surprised. His rambles would help pass the time.

"What's up, Steven?" She answered while raising the phone up to her ear.

No response.

Usually he'd respond right away with either a bright _ "Hi Connie!" _ or a tired _ "Hey Connie." _ if he had been dealing with what she called 'Gem politics' pre-call _ . _He would never call her without some form of greeting, so that was the first hint that something was wrong. 

"Steven? Did you buttdial me again? I thought you had a pocket inside of your jacket for that exact reason, dummy!" Connie continued to playfully banter over the phone, but she couldn't suppress the gnawing sense of worry in her chest. _ Hint number two: _By now the boy would have apologized for an accidental call or random prank. 

A soft Steven-esque laugh carried through the speakers, but it sounded… off. What made it even worse was the fact that it ended in some horrid wheezing, and not the good kind that you'd make after a funny joke. He still hadn't spoken a word since she answered the call. _ Hint number three: _ Steven would not call her first if he had absolutely nothing to say.

"Steven, if this is a joke, it's really _ not _that funny." Her tone switched to a sudden serious one. Even Priyanka glanced at her for a moment before focusing on the road again.

The pitiful laughter abruptly stopped, and all that she could hear on the other end were ragged breaths with periodic hitches. There was another noise, but it was much quieter in comparison to Steven. Connie kind of had to strain her ears to listen. It sounded like… a squeaky toy? The soft squeaking she had picked out in the background began to grow louder and louder, but what she assumed to be Steven's breathing didn't seem to change nor respond to the noise. _ What's going on…? _

_ "I'm so sorry, Steven." _ A feminine voice completely unfamiliar to Connie responded through Steven's phone. " _ I'll fix the game that I broke, and I'll fix you too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." _ Her voice cracked all over, especially on the last statement. The sound of clothes being handled or ruffled was closely followed by a sharp cry of pain from _ Steven. _ To top it all off, a loud thump finished the apparent interaction. Connie's blood ran cold, and her heart felt as if it had _ stopped _.

Her best friend still hadn't responded, and that was the last straw for Connie. She could still hear his uneven breath in her ear, even if the hand her phone is in was now shaking uncontrollably. The unexpected cry repeated over and over like a broken record trapped in her head. Usually Steven just… healed himself if he were hurt. He had a good grasp on his powers now. Had he been knocked unconscious? He was just fine this morning. Now the teenaged boy was causing her to freak out over an odd phone call. 

Her very own breathing grew hitched as she thought about Steven's well-being, or in this case, the possible lack of. There were just too many questions, and no way to get answers from where she sat. The silence on the other end was deafening. Connie had to do something, and she had to go _ now _. Her patience ran thin, and the fourteen year old grabbed ahold of her mother by her right sleeve with her free hand. "Mom, turn around! We have to go back to Beach City!" Connie cried out as Priyanka pretty much jolted at the steering wheel in shock. The car swerved for a moment, and her phone tumbled out of her hand before she caught it again in midair.

"Connie!" She shouted sternly as the car was yanked back on course. "What on Earth has gotten into you? We have to be at the drop-off in an _ hour and a half _! We don't have time t-"

"It's Steven!" Connie interjected loudly, which is something a non-panicked Connie would _ never _ do to an adult on a normal occasion, and toward Priyanka no less. "I think he's hurt! He won't answer me!" She then held the phone in Priyanka's directions so she could see the screen, as the call was still ongoing. 

"What about Space-"

"Forget about Space Camp!"

Her mom sighed while taking in her daughter's feral expression, and her own eyes took on a more hardened look. Clearly it wasn't the first time that the doctor had handled something like this. "Calm down, Connie. I'll pull off to the side and you can try to call… _ Lion," _she noted quizzically from the last few encounters, "so you can see if he's alright. I'll be driving back down that way to make sure you kids are okay." 

Connie let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding as her mother stuck to her word and pulled off to the right side of the highway. As soon as she unclipped her seatbelt, the bag at her feet was sloppily slung over her shoulder. She threw open the door with a heavy shove, and leapt out of the car. Priyanka lightly scolded her for doing so, but didn't press her on the behavior. Her fingers bent around her mouth, and a high-pitched whistle sounded off even over the rumbles of the passing cars.

_ Please work… _ Her eyes squeezed shut as she clenched her free fist at her side. If Lion didn't appear, there would be no way to get back to Steven immediately. Seconds passed, and the hope she had was starting to fade away. 

A pinkish light lit up from the other side of the highway's guard rail, and from within the depths came the large pink beast. Connie's eyes shot open, and a relieved sigh let itself go. There went one of her worries, but now there were more important things to check on. Lion stared her down with his own look of urgency spiraling in his black eyes. It seemed as if the cat knew something was wrong as well.

Time was ticking, and Connie was entirely aware of that. She fence-hopped over the guardrail, and climbed onto Lion's back with her phone still clutched in one hand and her bag on the opposing shoulder. Right as she was about to usher Lion to move, a loud honk blasted from their car. She turned to face the car while gripping Lion's mane. Priyanka had rolled the passenger window down and offered her daughter a gentle smile. "Be careful, sweetie. Hurry on now, you don't want to keep the Universe boy waiting."

Connie smiled back while wiping her eyes on her white sleeve. With a determined nod back at her mother, Connie's foot softly tapped on Lion's flank. The feline roared out one of his notorious portals, and the duo set off through the device. 

\--

The portal reopened seconds later, and the two shot out in the blink of an eye. Lion slid across the grass as they landed, and Connie reached within her bag to withdraw her sword. She never left home without it, and it usually came in handy. Once she fished it out of her bag, she swung the strap over her body so the sword and sheath were properly set on her back. 

Phantom talons gripped her shoulders upon taking in the surroundings. It appeared that Lion brought her to the cliff with the lighthouse in Beach City, but that wasn't the part that scared her. Some kind of large gem technology- _ an injector?- _she guessed, had implanted itself within the soft soil. That was only half of what was wrong in this picture. Connie hopped off of Lion in order to brave through her fears. From what she could see, Steven was not here.

An object glinted in the sunlight a few steps away, so of course Connie was going to check that out. Upon reaching the glimmer, she parted the grass out of the way to reveal a smooth, white gemstone in the dirt. _ White gemstone? _ A small gasp escaped her lips as she picked up the stone. "Pearl!" If she ended up poofed, and Steven sounded hurt, then that had to mean… Her eyes cast off the side in order to confirm her suspicions, and unfortunately for her, it sure did. The dormant gems of Ruby, Sapphire and Amethyst were just carelessly left in the grass, and that was something that even an injured Steven would never _ dream _of doing. 

_ Steven, what happened to you? _

Her attention shifted as Lion growled further away from the lighthouse. The pink cat had his claws sunk within the earth, and was staring at a particular area. Connie dutifully placed the four gems inside of her bag. The best she could do is wait for them to reform and figure things out on her own until then. The bag was looped back over her shoulder, and she jogged over to Lion. "What'd you find, Li...on…?"

For the second time that day, she could hear her own heartbeat pounding away in her ears.

Moderately fresh blood was splattered across the grass, and one spot in particular formed a grotesque patch of pure scarlet. The metallic scent stung her nostrils, and she couldn't help but gag at the connotations. Her inner voice tried to tell her that it was just the injector fluid or maybe the mystery gem's blood.

Connie was smart though. Too smart to even fool herself. The injector fluid was a fluorescent pink, and gems _ didn't bleed. _ This was natural blood from a _ living _ being right down to the point and no matter how much she tried to push it away, she knew exactly who it had been spilled from.

A single item remained face down in the miniature sea of red. Of course, she had to investigate that too. Her feet moved forward almost robotically in the direction of the mentioned object. Connie crouched a short distance away, clearly being careful not to step in or touch the fluids staining the earth. The rectangular shape was vaguely familiar, and it wasn't until she flipped it over that she finally recognized what it was. A cell phone. The screen brightened up at her touch, and she froze.

_ Connie ⚔️ _

_ 10:04 _

It was her own contact in an ongoing call. Slowly, she pulled her own phone back up to her field of vision. She almost didn't want to look, but a part of her _ had _to know. Connie mentally counted to three, and then-

_ Steven 🌠 _

_ 10:13 _

A shocked sob was muffled as she brought up her other hand to cover her mouth. The pieces were connecting. It was _ his _ phone. It was _ his _ breathing. It was _ his _ blood. She glanced at the hand covering her mouth, and audibly gagged as she sharply pulled it away from her. His blood covered her hands from when she had touched his doused phone. Her _ face _now carried traces of his blood. Horror crept up her spine at the harsh reality of how badly hurt Steven could be. Even worse, he was nowhere to be found at the scene. 

Though Connie was mere seconds away from crying aloud, Lion nudged her ribcage with his nose. Her focus was brought back to him as Lion nodded to a series of red drips and drops leading away from the lighthouse, and right in the direction of Steven's house. There was still a chance to find him. After all they've been through, she could never give up on him. Without a second thought, Connie held back her oncoming tears and hopped onto the cat's back. 

_ "Just hang in there, Steven." _Connie whispered to no one but herself alone.

She'd find him if it was the last thing she would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, the new intro am I right? What a motivation booster. 
> 
> Trying to post a chapter on mobile is an ungodly torture device.


	3. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All trails lead somewhere, but what you find at the end won't always be satisfactory.

Lion and Connie had made it back to the temple in record time despite not warping there directly. Their suspicions were correct as the trail wound up leading them right into Steven's house. As soon as Lion bounded up the steps, Connie had hopped off and practically knocked the door off of its hinges with a single kick.

The house itself looked mostly undisturbed, sans the few spots of scarlet here and there. She walked over to the coffee table, her breath caught in the back of her throat in anticipation. Her bag was gently set down on the table, and the four gems were taken out and lined up next to it. Connie hoped that they'd reform soon, but she had no idea what had even happened to them to cause them to poof. _ What if they were gone for days? _ A voice in the back of her head wondered. No, she couldn't think like that! The gems _ will _ be back, and Steven _ will _ be fine. 

She noticed that the trail continued on the staircase, and she might as well have catapulted up the stairs that led to Steven's room. There was nothing to see downstairs in relation to him, so it was better to just keep moving. In her state of urgency, her foot caught against the last step, resulting in careless stomps as she fought to regain balance. Connie's arm caught the sliding glass door handle, which was the only thing that kept her from tripping. The last thing she needed to do was knock herself out while trying to dash up some stairs. 

Her gaze swept across the room, which also seemed undisturbed from the time she initially left. _ If he's not here, then where is he? _ It's really not that hard to miss a bleeding teenage boy in a pristine home, right? She shook her head in order to clear her thoughts, but then ended up staring at her own disheveled reflection in the glass door. Yeesh, she really had seen better days. She knew that some of Steven's blood had gotten on her face, but there was no way it was _ that _much. After all, it had only been on her hand from where she had touched his phone and then her mouth.

_ Wait a minute. _ Connie thought as she re-evaluated her reflection. She tilted her head to the side, and most of the blood reflected didn't move with her. That wasn't from her reflection at all! It was still blood, but not on her. A smeared, yet bloody handprint, was outlined near the door handle as if someone- _ or something _, she noted- had tried to pry open the door to no success the first time. 

Connie, who at this point was an expert at throwing open doors today, slid open the door and strode out onto Steven's balcony. Her head whipped left and right, her dark hair swishing in the breeze. There were only do many places to go after heading out through the door, and it seemed counter productive to hop off the balcony and run somewhere else. That left one main option.

As if it were timed, there was a sudden glow with a resounding chime nearby. _ Was that his personal galaxy warp..? _"Oh no." She gasped audibly. That sound and light meant that someone had activated the system, but not yet the actual warp. The teenager broke into a sprint towards the diamond base. She hardly had time to stop her momentum as her hand slammed against the identification panel. The signifying hue of the pink diamond logo opened the door, and she was met with a gut-wrenching sight.

A pink gem with what looked like two messy pigtails stood rigidly in front of the warp pad. Her back was conveniently turned to Connie, but it seemed like her thin body was hunched over a limp figure protectively. The gem still hadn't turned around despite the base door being opened. She pressed her back against the wall outside of the base. She couldn't walk right in yet, as she didn't know what this alien could or would do in response. If Steven was in there with her, who knows what she could do. Connie hesitantly pulled at the handle of her sword, slowly unsheathing it from its casing. It appeared that the gem was speaking quietly, so she had to strain her ears to listen.

_ "I won't leave you alone when you're hurting. Not when I-I _ ** _caused_ ** _ you to hurt." _

_ That voice. It was _ ** _that _ ** _ voice. _ Connie's mind growled bitterly. Memories resurfaced of the mysterious voice overlapping with Steven's breathing before everything was brought to silence. This was the gem who found him. This could be the gem who _ hurt _ him. _ Does that mean that Steven is... _

"**_You._**" Connie spat venomously, her sword now fully drawn with a metallic _ shing _ while stepping into view. "What did you do to Steven?" She spoke in low tones roughly, her teeth clenching in rage afterwards. The girl took four menacing steps at the gem with her sword poised to strike at the gem's still turned back. It wasn't ethical to strike an enemy from behind, but this was for _ Steven _.

The gem in question snapped her entire body around to face her with a look of shock plastered across her facial features. The sudden movement caused whatever was in her arms let a short, gargled _ scream _ . Whatever was in her arms was _ human, _and there was only one human, or rather hybrid, that it could possibly be.

"Steven…?" The human teenager asked hoarsely, her anger temporarily subsiding in place of confusion and anxiety. His usually dark and curly hair was crusted in clumps of dried blood, and his clothes were dyed off-color with patches of darker scarlet on his jacket and purples on his torn shirt. His pale face was contorted into one of pain and anguish while his limbs just hung loosely over the gem's thin frame. The sight of Steven in such a wrecked state felt like such a blow to her own gut. Bile began to rise in her throat, but she pushed it down in favor of taking action.

Her hold on her sword never wavered, and if anything, it strengthened. "Put him down." 

Her enemy's eyes shot wildly from Steven, Connie, and back to Steven. "I-I didn't want- I wasn't!" She had babbled at her while taking several tentative steps backwards in the direction of the warp. Connie took a step forward for every step that the gem took back. There was no running from her. She wasn't afraid of jumping into an active warp stream to take him back.

"Put Steven down _ now. _ " She demanded coldly. Her anger had risen back up from where her shock value had dropped it down moments ago. Connie was absolutely _ livid _ . The pink gem began to quiver, but stopped moving away from the enraged teen. She seemed to be genuinely _ afraid _ of Connie. _ As she should be. _ The distance between the two standing figures grew shorter and shorter, and Connie didn't even _ think _ about lowering her sword even once. This gem had _ hurt _ him. This gem made him _ look _ like that. This gem was trying to take him _ away. _She wouldn't get away with this, not in a million years. The grip on her sword tightened even more, as she could feel the rough lines etching her palms. The gem tried to move him away from her sight again, and Connie saw red.

Right as she was about to swing her sword, a weakened voice mumbled, "_ Stop..." _ Both Connie and the gem's guard dropped simultaneously as their respective anger and distraught were casted aside. Steven had one eye cracked open, and was breathing shallowly. He was awake, but barely. His singular eye searched around the room in confusion before it settled on Connie, and she could see a wobbly smile warming up on his discolored face. "Hi… Connie..."

...Was he being serious right now? A part of her was relieved that he was even _ alive _, yet the majority was screaming at him for reasons of various degrees. What kind of person just casually says hi in a situation like this? "Don't talk, and I mean it, Steven Quartz Universe!" Connie scolded anxiously. She fiddled with her sword's hilt, but the weapon was no longer pointed at the pink stranger per Steven's request. 

Steven almost looked _ offended _ by her order, but as he opened his mouth to reply, his opened eye rolled back, closed, and he slumped out of it again. Her heart skipped a beat when the boy fell unconscious again. She unconsciously extended a hand to touch his face, but she swiped thin air as the gem carried him backwards again. Connie then attempted to make eye contact with the pink gem, but she had her head turned to the side while her body faced forwards. In a way, it was _ taunting _that Steven was right in front of her, but she couldn't risk hurting him if she went after the captor. She could've warped away right there, but she didn't. The heart-gem let out what seemed to be a frustrated sigh before facing Connie directly again. 

"Fine. _ Take him _ !" Her teeth were bared in an aggressive snarl, and suddenly her arms stretched out towards her. Connie didn't even have time to ready her sword again as Steven was unceremoniously _ dropped _into her arms. Her sword fell from her hands and clattered to the floor as she attempted to accommodate for the imbalance of weight. She stumbled backwards, her back ramming into one of the nearest walls inside the base.

The former captor screamed in frustration, pounding her bloodied fists onto the warp pad before it started to light up. Connie exchanged one last glance with the gem, and all she could read on the gem's face was pure _ grief _ and _ torment _. She couldn't miss the angry tears downpouring from her crazed eyes as the light consumed her body entirely, and then she was gone. 

Connie was alone with Steven.

Well, at least until Lion poked his big pink head into the room. He patiently sat down next to Connie, who was still leaning heavily against the wall. This scene alone brought back certain (unpleasant) memories. Steven had been decently heavy when she carried him in White's head, but now his weight had almost doubled. In a way, Connie was lucky that she'd grown stronger because of all of her training within the past two years.

Her sight drifted to Steven's form now that she could actually _ see _ him. He was right there. He was right in her arms, but he also was _ so pale _ . She noticed the long cut running from shoulder to hip, and winced. It seemed like the longer she stared the more _ wrong _ he looked. Her own white long sleeve shirt was now sporting splashes of scarlet, quickly reminding her that Steven was _ still in danger _. How long had he been bleeding? How much blood had he already lost?

Her thoughts also revolved around that gem._ Was she going to come back any second now? Why did Steven not want me to hurt her? _ ** _No. _ ** _ Steven first, worry about her later. Priorities, Connie. _

Connie was unable to hear his breathing anymore. She couldn't even feel Steven moving in her arms. In a flash, her hand grabbed a hold on his dangling wrist. She slid over two fingers in order to check his pulse, her own heart hammering in her chest. Soft, yet faint bumps were felt, confirming that he was still alive in some shape or form.

She hugged the injured teen close to her chest as if he could be ripped away at any moment. While calling an ambulance was always an option, she knew it wasn't a good one. What would a hospital even do for some random hybrid boy who was already treading the line? Her mother was still driving back in their direction, so she was out of the question for now.

That only left one option, the gem's last resort for healing. The one place they used while Steven was away on Homeworld business.

Connie carefully stood back up, making sure that Steven wasn't tossed around in her arms. It could be the difference between life and death if he was taken there, and with all of the blood he's already lost, it could be the only way that _ life _was on the table. Lion shared a knowing look with Connie as if he were on the same page. Even if there was no guarantee that it'd work on such a major wound this late, they still had hope. This was their last shot, and they weren't going to waste it.

_ Rose's fountain. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Connie is very happy with you, Spinel.
> 
> but hey, at least she's got Steeb now.


	4. Something Is Clearly Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patience isn't always the best medicine, but there are times when it is.

Rose petals drifted across the pinkened sky, almost as if they had their own dance. The only sound heard was the peaceful splashes of Rose's tears as they fell from her statue into the pooling clear waters below. The scenery was beautiful, and it was too bad that they had to come back here on such a bad occasion. 

Steven hadn't stirred as Lion stepped out of the portal, and if anything, Connie noticed that he only seemed worse. Her white shirt was ruined both by blood and recent rips, as she had torn off the majority of her sleeves to press against his wound in an attempt to slow his bleeding until they reached the healing waters. 

There was no time to waste.

Connie swung a leg over and slid off of Lion. Her steps were strained as she carried Steven to the fountain, but she never tired. She didn't dare to tire. As soon as she had reached the edges of the fountain, Connie cautiously dropped to her knees with Steven still cradled in her arms. The hybrid was gently lowered into the water until his chest was entirely submerged in the tears. This had to work. Connie counted to five, then ten, then fifteen. Nothing happened, not even a little shimmer.

_ Was she too late?  _

After what felt like an entire minute of holding him in the water with no results, tears started to cloud her vision. She had to bite the inside of her lip to keep herself from shaking or crying out. Connie frantically pressed her fingers against his wrist again, but this time she felt _ nothing. _ The distinct rise and fall of his chest had also remained suspiciously absent, but Connie couldn't tell if that was just her imagination or reality. Despite being in the fountain of tears, he was still dying. He was still fading. Panic started to set in her system. The tears are supposed to  _ work _ ! They can't just stop working out of nowhere- it wasn't fair!  _ It wasn't- _

Steven's once-dark gem erupted with a bright pink light before dimming back to nothing as quickly as it appeared. Connie watched in anticipation as a soft shine sparkled faintly from his wound. The scarlet stains on his body began to disappear into shining particles. The boy's eyes snapped open and his darkened pupils shot around the place wildly. His breathing began to grow erratic, borderline panicking, while his hands clawed feebly at the ripped and soaked reddish white sleeves covering his wound. He was freaking out for a reason Connie couldn't identify. 

The disturbed cloth drifted off of him and floated further into the water, and she finally got a good look at the results. His incision had healed only ever so slightly, but the blood had been washed away. It was as if some kind of force just made him heal enough to keep him from bleeding out, but that was all. The tears didn't work like they were supposed to, but they did  _ something _ . Connie hurriedly lifted the panicking boy from the healing liquid and dragged him into a tight yet gentle embrace, careful not to tug at his wound. She could feel his quickened breath stirring her ear as he started to calm down at her touch. Connie didn't let go of him, and if anything, she only held him closer as he finally drifted back into what she hoped was a more peaceful unconsciousness. 

"It's okay, Steven. I'm here." Her hand caressed the back of his sopping wet black hair. Saltwater tears ran down from her eyes and onto the back of Steven's already soaked jacket. "I'm here."

~

Now that he was at least  _ partially _ okay, it was time to put him in his own bed. The tears weren't going to do anything else for them. Connie had internally facepalmed, as she meant to bring a capsule or something to bring tears back with her, but her bag was still at the temple. Speaking of the temple, she hoped that the gems reformed by now, but her guess was that it'd only be Amethyst. That was fine too! Anyone was better than nothing, as all of this panic start panic stop stress was getting tiring. 

Lion stepped out of the portal as easily as he could, and Connie made a mental note to buy him an entire box of Lion Lickers the next time she stopped at the store. All of the warping meant he deserved that and the longest nap of his life. 

The sight they returned to was… peculiar… at the very least. It wasn't the temple itself that was odd, but more so the ones in it. Mister Universe was in the house with his hands raised in front of him. Pearl in a  _ dress _ was bowed just a foot away. She knew that the two were on good terms, but this was just  _ weird _ .  _ Why would Pearl go back to a dress?  _ That wasn't all though.

Amethyst's form was sectioned with short hair, and she seemed to be mimicking a very square Ruby, who was also growling at Amethyst with her fists up. Sapphire was the only one in the room staring at her, and she'd been staring the entire time since the moment they arrived, maybe even before. One by one, the gems began to look at her, well, all except for Pearl who was still intently staring at the nervous man. Finally, Greg noticed she was standing there. At first, he visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping.  _ The calm before the storm. _

"Oh hey, Connie. Aren't you supposed to be at-"

His gaze shifted to the body in her arms. Connie mentally  _ Oh no'd _ . If he thought this was bad, then she was glad that he didn't see him about five minutes ago. It took her a minute to realize that her own clothes were ruined as a result of recent events. Her shirt was a pinkish red with spots of clean white, and her sleeves were gone. She probably wasn't an appealing sight to see now that she thought about it. 

"Steven…?"

The poor man looked absolutely devastated. She bit the inside of her lip. How was she supposed to explain this to him when she didn't even know what happened herself? To make matters better or worse, Steven shifted in her arms as if he were already starting to stir. This was going to take some explaining and comprehension that Connie honestly wasn't feeling anymore.

Lion comfortingly nuzzled her shoulder. _Here goes nothing_...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but we're about to hop into the next section of the story. 
> 
> My internal baby levels are too high to go around and murder teenagers.


	5. Back to Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what seemed like hours for Steven, he knows he's back in safe hands.

The first thing he felt upon waking up was a full ache deep within his chest. He was swaying about as if he were in someone's arms, but this was a different kind of hold compared to how he felt before. Before it was a distant, mournful kind of grasp on him, but this one was strong, confident, and protective. He was held close to a warm body, and the arms around him just felt so secure in comparison to before. It was comforting to say at the least. Whoever held him at the moment was not the same person as the last time he had been coherent.

His senses were blurred, muffled, whatever words he could think of to describe it, but they were getting better. His mind wasn't focusing as much on his pain, as he now has the capability to think. The voices here were different as well, as they weren't the sullen cries and explanations of the pink figure, _ Spinel,_ as she had cried while carrying him. 

Steven tentatively cracked open his eyes, the sunlight immediately bringing recognition to what time it was. He could see and sense the shadows and voices of the others around him, but he couldn't make much out. The exhaustion from today's events started to catch up with him, and his eyes gently closed again as he lulled into a much less painful sleep.

~

He hears footsteps. Three sets to be exact, but he assumes there's a much softer fourth following behind them. His senses are much clearer now. He's lying on something soft, a bed? His bed? That would make sense, sort of.

There's voices, or at least there is now. He hadn't been listening before, so he wouldn't know. Now that he's at least a little aware, he could focus on listening.

"-to the fountain, but his wound hardly healed. I think I met the gem who did that to him." 

_ Connie? That sounds like her. What is she doing here? _

"You're telling me that you met a gem who hurts children, and then you dropped him in some old fountain water that ended up saving his life?"

_ Doctor Maheswaran? Now this was getting weird. Why are they both here? _

"The gems have some really weird technology, so yes? I think the fountain is full of Rose's tears, and she was pretty good at healing organics and gems."

_ Dad too..? _

His voice spoke up again. "Say, Connie. You met the gem, right? Do you know who she is or what she did to the Gems? You even said Steven couldn't heal himself."

A frustrated groan carried through the air. "No. She basically tossed Steven at me and warped off. She was really pink and had a heart-shaped gem, seemed emotionally unstable but that's not important I don't know anything else!"

Really pink with a heart-shaped gem. Left unable to heal himself. _ The Gems. _

Memories started to fly back with a sudden force. The swing, the blood, the _ agony _ . His mind then turned to the other half. The tears. The remorse. The _ fear _. She had told him everything, but he couldn't remember it all. One major point stuck out to him, and he went with it.

"Spinel! Where is- _ ack! _" Steven shouted frantically, accidentally lurching upwards from where he was lying on his bed. His hand clutched at his chest as his eyes shut tightly from the sharp and stabbing pain. 

"Steven!" The three shouted in unison. 

He felt stronger hands on his shoulders as his dad gently laid him back down in bed. That was a bad knee-jerk reaction on his part. Steven hissed through his teeth, and a smaller hand guided his back to his side. 

"Easy Schtu-ball, you took a pretty nasty hit earlier." Greg soothed, then turning to the physician. "You don't happen to have any pain meds or something on you, right?"

His vision focused back into one picture, and he could see Connie's mom shake her head. "I'll drive over that way and pick some up from my office while I grab Connie a different outfit." She seemingly surveyed Steven from where he was downed. "Speaking of clothes, you shouldn't keep him in those ragged and ruined ones. Infection is still a possibility even if he's… magic."

"So… I can stay?" Connie piped up from where she was crouching next to his bed. 

"Mister Universe can't handle both his son and the gems by himself, so I trust that you'll help him out." The doctor answered honestly, and Steven could see the faintest look of a smile on her face. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Take care of him." Her footsteps thumped hastily down the staircase before he heard the click of the downstairs door shutting below.

Steven had the entirety of three seconds to prepare himself for the onslaught of attention.

"Oh my gosh, Steven! You're actually awake!"

"Don't scare your old man like that again, kiddo!"

As much as he appreciated their concern, he wasn't important right now. There were too many other problems to fix.

"Where's Spinel?" He asked, disregarding their concerned comments. "She's alone! I can't leave her alone again!"

"Spinel?" Greg mumbled quizzically. Steven had paused to pant again, his hands gripping the bed sheets. "Woah woah woah, you're gonna start bleeding again if you don't calm down! Easy, bud!" 

"Would you like me to retrieve some bandages, my Um Greg Universe?" Pearl had stated robotically. Steven hadn't even noticed that she was there until she spoke.

"No no, Pearl. You don't have to do things for me!" Greg raised his hands again. Connie shifted uncomfortably as she glanced between the two and back to him.

"Hold on, I'll go grab the bandages and a bucket of water. I know where the Gems keep them!" Connie shouted before standing, spinning around on her heels and sprinted downstairs. 

Greg then took the initiative to walk over to Steven's dresser, most likely to grab another shirt.

He knew he should rest, but his mind could only boil in frustration. Where could the gem have gone? Spinel had messed up everything from his own gem to his family, and then she disappeared. He needed to talk to her. She could fix this, and he could help her in exchange. He sharply exhaled through his nose. His body was absolutely wrecked though. There was no way that his dad and Connie would let him out of their sight. What would he do anyways? Hobble off alone and then pass out again? 

The resounding thumps of Connie heading back up the stairs plucked Steven from his thoughts. He turned his head and stared expectantly up at the two humans in the room. Connie set the bucket near his bed and handed the gauze to Greg. Pearl was still awkwardly standing with her hands clasped, but he didn't want to focus on her right now. 

"Hey kiddo, we're gonna get you out of those nasty old clothes and bandage up your wound now." 

"Would you like me to assist, My Um-"

"It's okay! Please just wait outside the room, Pearl."

"Of course, My Um Greg Universe." She responded as if the interruption hadn't bothered he at all. The gem gracefully walked outside of the room, but still stared directly at his dad from the steps.

Connie's gaze flickered from him to his dad before a light tint of red dusted her cheeks. "I'm just gonna go grab my sword and clean myself up a bit before my mom gets back!"

Steven couldn't help but suppress a smile at her behavior as the teenager dashed out the sliding door. His dad slid a hand under his back to assist him in sitting up, and then slipped his jacket off one arm at a time. Steven took in the full damage of the jacket that now rested in his dad's arms and frowned. "Aww, my organic jacket." 

'Don't worry Schtu-ball, I'll order you a new one tomorrow." He dismissed with a smile, and tossed the jacket to the side. Steven huffed in response, but didn't say anything else. He then saw him noticeably grimace as he felt the bucket of water. "Now it's time for the fun part." 

Steven glanced down at his ruined shirt and partially healed wound, and instantly paled. He could already tell that this wasn't going to be very pleasant. There were times like these when he wished that he could magically change his clothes like the Gems can. 

"Let's get this over with." He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to finish as much of this as I can before exams catch up to me next week, but this definitely will be finished!


	6. Into the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sneaking out at night is one of the traditions of a teenager. Too bad that one of the people you're sneaking away from is also a teenager.

Moonlight streamed through his windows by the next time that Steven had sleepily blinked open his eyes. The whole 'cleaning and dressing his wound' thing honestly sucked, and he was out like a light as soon as he slipped on a different light blue shirt. He didn't want to go through that again. No wonder people didn't like hospitals or healing _ normally. _

His Cookie Cat clock blinked red with the numbers 3:04. He stifled a groan. He'd slept away the entirety of the afternoon, and even worse, _ Sadie's show! _ That was one of the things he was looking forward to, as her band liked to travel to other cities now instead of always playing locally. _ You win some and you lose more, Universe. _He mentally scolded. 

In all honesty, he felt so much better in comparison to all of the other times he'd woken up that same day. His injury ached considerably less after the plunge in healing tears and the cleanup his dad provided before he passed out on the bed earlier that day. _ Speaking of Dad, where is he? Actually, where is anyone? _

The house was bathed in silence.

No gems, no Dad, no Connie.

Oh well. No one present meant there was no one around to judge his (sometimes) bad decisions. Steven swung his feet over the bed, and right into his conveniently placed pink flip-flops. He staggered slightly for balance before placing a hand on the stand next to his bed. Some medication bottles shook with the impact, causing him to notice that Connie's mom did pull through with the pain medications. He surveyed them thoughtfully before continuing to steady his way towards the glass door. Another joy of non-magic healing. He'd have to remember to thank her later. 

The next object he sought after was his pink jacket. He didn't exactly have another one like it, so his damaged one would have to do for now. It was still lying in a heap from where it had been tossed to the side earlier, so the most difficult part was bending down to pick it up. Well, bending was out of the question, as he'd really prefer to not pass out on the floor because he reopened or aggravated his chest again. He could imagine the distressed cries of his father, and even worse, the disappointed stare from both of the Maheswaran women. _ Yeah, let's not. _He wisely decided. Instead, Steven opted to kneeling down onto the floor, and scooping the jacket into his arms. One crisis avoided, now onto the next.

He didn't want to put on the jacket directly, so he tied it around his waist as a substitute. The last thing he needed to do was scare Spinel off because he's wearing his bloody jacket. The gem had already seemed devastated at what she had done, or at least he thought so. According to Connie she was _ angry? _ He didn't exactly talk to her after what happened by the lighthouse, but maybe it was all a misunderstanding with the whole Pink Diamond past and, you know, him.

That's all she was, right? Misunderstood?

Steven stepped into the cool night air, the ocean breeze ruffling his curly hair. He kept his hand on the railing as he half-walked half-sauntered towards his diamond base. Hopefully he could access the warp records to find out where she went, but from prior knowledge, he probably already knew the answer. The moonlight glinted off of the dome as he neared. His hand pressed against the identifier, causing the doors to slide open. After glancing from side to side, he began to walk into the room.

Or at least, he thought he was walking into the room.

His visuals began to blur and spin, and his legs began to feel increasingly heavy. Heavy steps littered the floor as he wobbled. The floor started to come up to meet him until a steadying pair of arms hooked beneath his, and lifted him back to his feet. Steven felt disoriented for a moment as he blinked away the confusion. His senses began to return, but he could vaguely feel himself sink into the beanbag chair near the entrance.

His vision focused back to a very annoyed Connie in a white tank top with an overlaying unbuttoned pink and white flannel. Her arms were crossed, and her foot was tapping against the floor. She was not happy. Why was she still here?

"Steven." She stated sternly.

"...Connie." He answered back in a slightly nervous tone. 

"You better have a good explanation for why you're up and out of bed at three in the morning." Connie droned on while Steven just sank lower into the beanbag. Did he have to answer that? He didn't want to.

"Have you been sitting here all night?" He asked, which was an attempt to change the topic.

"What- well, I-I was making sure _ she _ didn't come back." Connie then shook her head in realization and uncrossed her arms. She pointed accusingly at Steven. Apparently she wasn't finished yet. "That's not important! You shouldn't be walking around, Steven! Don't dodge my question. What are _ you _ doing?!"

Steven avoided eye contact and scratched behind his head. "I'm just, uh, you know…" He sighed before leaning further back into the chair. What was the point? There was no getting around Connie. She could tell when he was lying, and that wasn't exactly easy to cover up right now. He had no choice but to be honest. "I have to find her, Connie. You don't understand-"

"You're right, I _ don't _ understand! I don't understand why you're trying to seek out the gem who almost _ murdered _ you!" Her voice raised to a volume that was considerably loud. Her fist swung in a tight arc, and banged against the wall. Steven recoiled violently, his right arm lifting up to shield his eyes. 

For a mere second, he was back _ there. _

He knew he was overreacting, but he just couldn't handle anything _ swinging near him. _A part of his mind just acted on its own, but there was no way he'd let himself compare Connie to what happened. He wouldn't let his own mind do that to him.

_ Her chaotic laugh as the scythe whirled at him in an arc. The dissipation of his only defense. The fear that gripped at his heart from the moment he realized what had happened. _

_ No. _

He wasn't there. He wasn't **there. **

_ He wasn't. _

_Just breathe. _

"Steven! Are you okay?" Her voice had softened again, and the hit was no longer echoing in the walls. 

The mocking sounds of his distorted memories faded away, and his arm lower along with it. Steven saw his companion pinching the bridge of her nose and breathing, most likely to calm herself down as she usually would do. It was okay. He was fine. This was the base, his own house, not the lighthouse. That was Connie, not Spinel. He let his arm rest back at his side, his guard now dropped.

Connie was crouching right in front of him, an indifferent mood lighting her eyes. He couldn't tell how she was feeling, not exactly. She was conflicted now that her weighted concern was wearing off. Maybe she didn't even understand how she was feeling.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I just," Her fists clenched, and a puff of frustrated air escaped her mouth. "I never want to see you like that again. Not after what she did to you the first time." Connie brushed her fingertips against the bloodied jacket sleeve tied around him, a reminder of what he went through. A reminder of what she saw.

It was just like before. Connie had been the one around to see him at his worst. 

Ah geez, now he was feeling guilty.

"It won't happen again. She won't hurt me. I'm just going to talk to her." He lied, not knowing if he was trying to convince Connie or himself. 

"I know she won't. That's why I'm going with you."

It took his brain at least five seconds to process her statement.

_ "What?" _ Steven squeaked aloud, his voice slightly cracking.

"You're obviously not going to give it a rest, so if you're going to go, I'm going with you." She shrugged nonchalantly, but her expression was entirely serious.

"I'll be fine on my own!" He protested.

Connie crossed her arms, but this time in a more smug manner. "Okay then, Steven 'Tough Guy' Universe. Get up and walk to the warp pad."

"Easy peasy. I can do that with my eyes closed." He challenged back. _ Why was she treating it like such a big deal? _He pressed his hands to the ground as a boost to help him up. As he wobbled to his feet, Connie took a step closer, but Steven shooed her off with a wave of his hand. He could do this on his own! His foot planted firmly onto the ground. The first step was easy, so that meant the second was going to be easier. His right foot planted down next. Two steps down, just a couple more to go. 

Or not.

Right as he set his foot down for the fifth step, the colors of the base began to mix and twirl together again. _ Oh, that's why. _He thought as his body started to tilt due to sudden imbalance. Connie had apparently been waiting for that, as she easily caught him from behind and steadied him.

"You can't walk three feet without trying to kiss the ground let alone summon a shield to protect yourself. I'm coming with you and that's final." She asserted, and Steven didn't have any room to try and contradict her. Instead, he settled with an exasperated groan.

"Okay okay, it's not like I can stop you from coming anyways." He sighed in accepted defeat. "Take me to the control panel so I can see where it warped her to, please?"

"Here," Connie held his arm and wrapped it around to the opposite side of her neck. "keep it there so you can at least walk and have a free hand." Steven obliged, as it was much easier to actually get around compared to his creative hobbling.

As they made the few remaining steps to the panel, he delicately tapped into the gem tech. It instantly recognized his touch, as the holographic screen projected above it. Opening the warp history was relatively easy considering the gems hooked it up to where the language was English instead of Gem. While he wanted to learn the Gem language, he'd rather have his own panel be easy to access in cases like this. He skimmed through the list before the most recent warp came into view. He tapped on the log, and it brought up to full size. 

Steven cringed at the information detailed further down on the screen.

_ Authorization Granted _

_ Malfunctions: N/A _

_ Gem Type: Spinel _

_ Warp Location: Pink Diamond's Garden. _

Of all places, why did she choose to go back there? She could've warped to any other place, but she went right back to where it all started. Then again, isn't that what Gems did when they wanted to mourn or were distressed? They'd return to the place of an important incident, one that gave them some kind of emotion. Pearl's place was the Strawberry Battlefield. Amethyst's place was the Kindergarten. Blue Diamond's place was his mom's old Palanquin. 

and Spinel… 

Spinel's place to hide was still in the garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to write some Spinel, oh boy.


	7. Spinel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spinel can't decide on how she feels about the mess she created.

** _I didn't mean to! It wasn't supposed to work that way! I didn't want this._ **

_ Spinel had shoved the deactivated scythe back into her gem before dashing over to Steven. The boy had mumbled a soft word she couldn't quite catch before he fell completely motionless. He was a messed up heap in a sea of red. She knew gems didn't do that. Gems dissipated, not leaked, but he wasn't really a gem. She didn't know what in the stars was happening to him other than the fact that it was  _ ** _wrong._ **

_ Before she could stop herself, words started to fall out of her mouth as the overwhelming guilt and turmoil started to set in. "I'm so sorry, Steven."  _

_ She wanted to finish the game, but this wasn't how it was supposed to end. This was just the beginning, and she went and screwed it all up! Steven couldn't play anymore, not when he was like this. Whatever strange liquid he had in his hybrid body was dripping out of him like a punctured container, and it was her fault.  _

_ The hybrid didn't move as she approached. That was another bad sign. He clutched some sort of device in his hand, and Spinel swore that she could hear a voice relaying through it. That didn't matter right now. "I'll fix the game that I broke, and I'll fix you too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." Her voice cracked as bloodied gloves slid under his back as she tried to lift him. The boy cried out sharply in pain despite not obviously being conscious. The device in his hands bounced against the grass, and flopped right into a smaller puddle of scarlet.  _

_ He obviously needed help, but where? She had taken down his other friends, and she didn't know of anyone else other than the three he listed in his message. The Diamonds? No, they'd shatter her on sight after seeing him. She surveyed the land until it clicked. The house on the beach.  _

_ Spinel was on a mission. Her injector could wait until the playing field was even again. She doesn't want to play a one-sided game, that isn't fair. Her eyes stared at the grievous wound she had left on him. That was the source of his body leakage. The reason he wasn't moving. The reason he was… dying. _

_ That's it. He was dying. _

_ She had lost herself in the fog of betrayal and anguish caused by Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond, not Steven. She was angry, so so angry. Spinel had lost her touch. It just wasn't fair. He had nothing to do with this at all, yet he's the one who received the backlash. _

_ "You're not her. You didn't leave me. You... You didn't know about me." She had started to speak again, her mind running through sentences a mile a minute. Spinel didn't know if Steven was listening, but it didn't matter. The six thousand year old bucket of emotions was starting to overflow, and there was nothing she could do to stop it from pouring out. _

_ "I let my anger control me after your message." She lamented, the flames of rage that had once been burning were doused. "I wanted to maim. I wanted to destroy. I'm supposed to be a friend, but I can't even do that right. What kind of Spinel am I? I wasn't good enough, no, I'm still not good enough." The pink gem deflated slightly. Why else would she be left alone if she wasn't good enough for anyone? The kid still hadn't responded or even gave any signal that he heard her. He really was broken. _

_ "I guess that makes two of us, huh?" A bitter laugh erupted as the flame began to spark again. "Two broken toys. A forgotten Spinel and the burdened hybrid son of Pink Diamond." Her grip unintentionally tightened, and Steven unconsciously squirmed in her touch. She didn't notice. Her teeth began to grit, and she swore that she felt tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Who am I kidding? The difference between us is that I was  _ ** _never _ ** _ good enough for  _ ** _anyone_ ** _ !" The soft whimpers of the teenager went unheard again. "I was left alone in a garden with a game that I could  _ ** _never_ ** _ win. My heart was set on standing innocently for thousands of years because of her stupid  _ ** _game._ ** _ " Her frustration was growing unchecked as she vented on and on. The world around her muffled as the metaphorical butterflies began to spread their wings. _

_ "She didn't wanna play with me anymore, so I was left to  _ ** _rot." _ ** _ The dam broke, and hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Her gloved fingers dug into pale human skin, and Steven cried out in surprise and pain. The noise caused recognition to spiral into her eyes, and she gasped softly. Her hold loosened the moment she figured out what had happened. _

_ She had hurt him again. _

_ "I'm sorry…" _

\--

The overgrown garden was practically destroyed by Spinel's initial rampage upon returning after the Steven incident. Numerous pants and vines were ripped and strewn across the faded pink ground. She had broken and scattered at least two of the stone pillars before breaking down herself.

Spinel had dumped Steven on some random human girl and left. How is she any better than Pink Diamond if she left behind the mess she made? Running from her problems, no plans to go back, trying to forget the issue existed. How was she any different?

Anger boiled within her system again at her own thoughts. Her fist slammed into the pink stone ground. _No! _How _dare _she compare herself to Pink Diamond. She was nothing like her, nor will she ever be. What happened to Steven was just collateral damage. He deserved it, right?

_ Did he really? _

She bonelessly slumped as the anger transpired back into sadness. It was a cycle of emotions that just kept repeating in her head. Why did she want to hurt him so bad only to change her mind? Why was she feeling  _ guilty? Why was she getting angry? _

The crystalline flash of the warp pad activating brought Spinel back to her senses and out of her recent memories. No one other than herself had activated that warp pad in the past 6000 years, yet low and behold, there stood Steven Universe and the human friend she had pawned him off to. She didn't even bother turning completely around. If he came back to shatter her in retaliation, why should she stop him?

"Spinel…?" His voice carried easily through the silence. Spinel could hear him clear his throat before he tried again. "Spinel!" He started off louder. "We need to talk."

She ignored him at first with a low chuckle. "Y'know, now that I think about it, it's kinda funny."

"What?" Steven responded as he and his companion edged closer to her. She still didn't turn around to face him.

"Pink never returned to her own garden after thousands of years, yet it took you less than a day." She began giggling harder. "That's funny, isn't it? Now you want to talk to me and pretend like nothing ever happened from my history nor yours." Spinel finally faced the pair, her face somewhere between miserable and heartbroken. She hadn't even bothered to wipe away any of the umbearable tear stains. "I tried to kill you, and all you want to do is talk?"

Both of the two newcomers hesitated in their steps at her reveal. Steven glanced at her in pity while the girl glared at her in mistrust. Now that she looked at him, he  _ seemed  _ okay from the outside. His tattered jacket was now tied around his waist, but his blue shirt was no longer torn and stained in red. In a way, she had made the right decision by giving him up, yet the back of her mind tormented her because  _ she wasn't the one to solve her own problem. _

"No, we're not talking about what happened to me." He dismissed with an additional shake of his head. "We can move on from that, all of us." Steven attempted to reason, but that was only one of the reasons that Spinel started to laugh harder. The sword carrier's jaw dropped in disbelief at his words, and honestly Spinel couldn't blame her. It was hilarious!

"Maybe you can, but what about  _ her?"  _ She provoked with an unsteady grin. Her eyes were locked onto Connie, and she visibly tensed upon noticing. Her hand had begun to reach at the handle on her back. Steven had also grown uneasy, hesitance starting to dawn on his features. That only urged her to keep pressing. "I was the reason that you were dying in her arms. Do you think  _ she  _ wants you to reason with a  _ murderer?  _ The same gem who was inches away from murdering her  _ best friend?" _

"No!" He blurted sternly. "You're not a murderer! I know you won't hurt me again!" 

"You don't know that. You don't know me!" Spinel retorted and stood to her full height. The humor in her tone had left entirely as her emotions shifted rapidly again.

"You're right, I don't!" He had stopped heavily leaning on the other teenager and placed down his own foot. Steven took one step in her direction. "but I do know that you're hurting. Just let me help you, and it'll be okay."

Her gem began to sear from the inside due to the sudden burst of hatred. Her teeth began to grind against each other. Was he here on the assumption that she was some random helpless gem? Spinel was anything but weak, and she would prove it. "Oh really?" She chose to respond sarcastically with a wide grin. Spinel reached into her gem retracted the rejuvenator. "Then I guess you won't mind if I do it again!"

Her arm moved into the familiar strike pattern, and she carried through with the motion. The scythe activated its pink light midswing, and she watched as Steven's body practically shut down before his friend dragged him to the ground. When the scythe went for the touchdown, Spinel purposely made it sink into the stone a few inches to the side. Did they honestly think she was going to attack them again? They thought she was really going to try and kill him! Gee, maybe they really are  _ stupid. _

Connie had protectively hugged the terrified Steven closer to her body, her sword now fully drawn in front of them. Apparently she would've been the one to take the hit if she had decided to not miss on purpose. She flipped the scythe behind her to where the top of the blade was on the ground, and she could lean herself again the handle. Steven was now wincing at her in discomfort and confusion from where he was lying on the ground. His hand hovered over where the wound should be, and a look of pain crossed his face. Spinel had to fight the uprising guilt again, as it wasn't the time for that. 

"See? Aren't I just  _ so _ unpredictable?" She stated with a slowly drooping grin. 

"What is  _ wrong  _ with you?" Connie began to shout in anger. "He only wanted to help you, and then you do this to him!" The only thing that kept her from standing was Steven's quiet, yet desperate plea of " _ Connie, don't…" _ . She refused to lower her sword, but made no advances to attack Spinel. 

"Why won't you let her go, Steven? Why won't you let her shatter me? That's the only option left, and you know she wants to do it!" Spinel continued to antagonize Connie. "Come on,  _ Connie."  _ She mocked her name. "Shatter me or leave. If not, I'll  _ will _ kill you,  _ both _ of you." At this point it was a waiting game for her to snap and end this nonsense. Whatever the girl decided she better make it fast. However, Connie did not budge.

A broken howl of laughter bursted forth from her chest, and she just  _ couldn't stop laughing.  _ Her entire stance began to deteriorate the longer the laughed. Uncontrollable tears followed soon after, and before she knew it, she had condensed into a pile of weeping hysteria.  _ "Leave, leave, leave! I'll kill you!" _ She wheezed. The grip on her scythe slackened, but she still did not let go. She could feel the eyes of the children burning holes through her gem, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't help herself. 

The laughter had been exchanged for broken sobs. Her tears continued to fall, and her free hand gripped at her already disheveled hair. What in the stars was she doing? This was pathetic. Her hand left her hair only to miserably wipe at her eyes. She was nothing but a mess, and she wanted to go back to being left  _ alone.  _ Her voice had weakened to where it was barely above a whisper. "Leave me alone, please... _ " _

"Come on, Steven. She doesn't want us to be here." Connie had almost growled while trying to help him to his feet, but the mentioned hybrid was having none of it. "You tried, but she won't listen. Let's _go."_ She tried again, but Steven kept being stubborn.

"No, Spinel!" He refused, shoving himself completely out of Connie's grasp. Steven began to carelessly stumble right at her. Lighter footsteps followed uneven heavy bounds as the teenaged human bolted after Steven. They were coming right for her.

Spinel's mind screamed at her to run away, but her body did the exact opposite. In a battle of fight or flight, fight was the decisive winner. Her grip on the rejuvenator tightened, and an animalistic light swirled in her frightened eyes.

_ "Stay away from me!" _

In a fraction of a second, there was a swing, a thud, and a clang before the entire garden was enveloped in a blinding white light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: hmm yes spinel chapter this'll be fun
> 
> also me: *rewrites chapter* *rewrites chapter* *rewrites chapter* *rewrit-
> 
> \--
> 
> Anyways, thank you all for your support so far. I really can't describe how I feel at every kudos and comment, but please know that it's incredibly appreciated, I just don't know how to react. <3


	8. You and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spinel might not be the most rational or trusting gem, but that doesn't mean she can't learn a thing or two from others.

As the light began to fade, their eyes focused on the scene before them. The first thing they noticed was that their chest ached, and there was an overwhelming sense of exhaustion washing over their limbs. Connie's sword was also held upright in their hand as if it were positioned to block a wide strike. Usually when they existed, they felt strong, but now? They couldn't tell. The usual pull of magical strength they felt was more of a slight physical tug.

In summary, this was weird.

A pink gem, _ Spinel_, sat on her knees with her eyes blown wide in horror. "What… Who... are you?" Her eyes shifted downwards at the rejuvenator that was held horizontally flat in both hands. "Did I… Oh no." The gem began to uncontrollably shake, and she deactivated her scythe. "I did it again! I tried to kill him! I almost killed him! I didn't- I wouldn't-" Spinel somehow sank lower to the ground. "I could've…"

Why was she staring at them so distraughtly? They took a second to look down at themselves, noticing the unbuttoned pink flannel and Steven's blue shirt, and then it clicked. "Oh… oh! I'm Stevonnie?" Stevonnie finally realized that they had been formed. No wonder the gem was so confused by their appearance. Oh boy, that meant this situation was their job after all. "Wait wait wait, Spinel, it's okay! They're okay!" The fusion waved their hands frantically as they tried to get her attention.

At first, Spinel didn't listen to their reassurance. She was busy mumbling apologies over and over while her gloves pressed harshly against her own mouth. The deactivated scythe now laid at their feet, virtually harmless. Stevonnie didn't want to touch her, as they could guess how that would go with her current state. Well, if they couldn't touch her, they guessed the only other confirmation would come from physical proof as well as speech. 

They swung their leg back and kicked the rejuvenator clear across the garden, pretty much sending it skidding into the thicker grass. They were not putting that into the equation after all that had happened. Spinel jumped backward at the sudden movement, and Stevonnie didn't miss the wince that crossed her face. It was a struggle to flip between Connie's indignance and Steven's pity, so they tried to play it neutral. They slid the sword back into its sheath, and then pointed at the pink diamond embedded in their navel. "Spinel, look. Steven and Connie are okay, you didn't hit them. You didn't hit me." 

The gem finally took a good look at them, but her own hands never lowered. They swore that she relaxed a little, but it might've just been their imagination. Spinel frowned at them through her fingers before responding. "I-I…" she stammered, "I didn't want to hurt him again, I swear! I just- I'm sorry!"

Stevonnie was conflicted to say at the very least. How had they even gotten themselves involved in this mess? What were they supposed to do? Steven was being unusually silent, which really only left them with Connie's inner thoughts. There wasn't much of a conversation going on, which was odd considering the fact that the two usually talked or thought about things together all of the time while fused. Stevonnie didn't even know _ how _they fused since Steven's gem was acting weird. Right as she tried to think about it, one of Connie's recent memories began to replay vividly in their mind. 

\--

_ It all happened so fast. _

_ Steven had forced himself out of her arms and shot right for Spinel. That activated some kind of panic mode within Connie, and she acted almost simultaneously. He wasn't hard to keep up with, but he had a decent head start. Dread and horror ran through her bloodstream as Spinel ferally gazed at Steven. She couldn't divert her attention as the gem maintained her grip on the scythe, and moved to attack him again. This was bad. This was really bad. The blade was heading right for him, and there was no way Steven could even summon a fraction of his shield in time. _

_ No! This is why she followed him here. She wouldn't let Steven get hurt like that again, even if it meant risking her own life for his. _

_ With long strides, Connie covered the distance between them in moments before launching forward into an outstretched leap. One hand tugged at the hilt of her sword while the other forcefully shoved into Steven's side, sending them both crashing into the ground. _

_ Or at least, they should've crashed into the ground. _

_ As soon as Connie's sword collided with the rejuvenator, Steven's gem flickered to life at the sign of peril, causing the entire garden to be invaded with a bright light. _

\--

Oh. They guessed that made sense. However, their gem still wasn't working, and Stevonnie felt overly sluggish. No magic meant no gem power. That would mean that the fusion wouldn't be around long, but neither of the two wanted to unfuse for the time they had left.

One of Spinel's sad sniffles reminded them that _ oh right, there's still a kinda unstable gem at hand that we probably should deal with. _ Shoving their counterpart thoughts aside, Stevonnie took in a deep breath. They took a few uncertain steps forward, and crouched about a foot away from Spinel. They personally weren't the best at motivational speech, but they've picked up a thing or two from Steven. _ Here goes nothing, _ they supposed. "He knows that you didn't do it on purpose. He's not giving up on you that easily, Steven is _ really _ stubborn." 

"Are you… him?"

Stevonnie blinked twice at her strange question. Huh. Of course she didn't understand what exactly happened. "No," they stifled a sigh and began to explain, "but he technically is in here." They tapped on their head with one finger. 

"Where is he then? You have his gem, yet you're not Steven. You don't look like Connie, but she's not here either." Spinel continued to quiz, but not once did she attempt to run away. It looked like the fearful confusion side had taken over the hardened rage and sadness, but at least she was being quizzical rather than evasive. This was still a pain to explain, and they kinda wished there was some kind of warning before Steven and Connie tossed them into this mess.

"He's…" Stevonnie pinched their nose, trying to think of how to explain it. They had to cross out several different options before settling on one. "Okay then, let's start over." The fusion shifted to where they were sitting on their knees just like Spinel. "Hi, I'm Stevonnie. I'm a fusion of Steven and his best friend Connie. You tried to turn Steven into sushi at least twice now, and I'm here as a result of the second time, but they're both fine."

Some kind of understanding slipped into her body language, but she probably didn't get all of it. Now that they thought about it, it _ might've _ been best to leave the sushi bit out. Spinel probably didn't understand that human teenagers had a poor sense of humor. For a second they were afraid that they had messed up and said the wrong thing. To their surprise, the gem avoided their eyes, but spoke nonetheless. "...Stevonnie," she tested, and they nodded in friendly acknowledgement, "are they mad?"

In their mind, Connie was practically screeching something along the lines of _ Duh!, _but obviously Stevonnie couldn't repeat the exact words Connie was think-speaking to Spinel. As for Steven, he was still silent as if his focus was placed elsewhere in the fusion. Guess that meant they had to rationalize their own words and fill in the blanks.

"Steven is being... Steven, so he's not mad at you by a longshot, but Connie?" They paused to snort while shaking their head. "She's furious." 

"Of course she's angry! Why wouldn't she be?" Spinel raised her hands above her in frustration. For a second Stevonnie contemplated doubling back to avoid another _ accidental _ attack, but quickly thought against it. Sure, Spinel was getting mad again, but it wasn't really directed _ at _them. They thought teenager mood swings were bad, but this was really something else. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" The gem punched herself right on top of her head with each word, the punches squeaking as they made contact. As comical as it sounded, now would be the worst time to laugh at her.

"Spinel, hear me out! I'm not finished!" They shouted exasperatedly. The fusion was growing more weary by the minute, so if they had to talk, they had to talk now. She flinched at their raised voice, but stopped pounding herself in the skull. At least that much was over with. "Thanks, now back to what I was saying." They then mentally noted that the _ much _ appreciated, dripping sarcasm was from Connie being particularly snippy within. "Steven still thinks you can fix this, and if he believes it, that means I do too."

"Then he's stupid!" Spinel stated venomously before sighing to herself. The gem palmed herself in the forehead. "No, we're _ both _stupid." She amended quietly, and rested her head atop her knees. The gem had drawn in on herself again.

"Maybe so, but what's letting that stop him? What's letting that stop you?" They shrugged simply in response.

Stevonnie then watched as Spinel dug her gloved fingers into her knees in apparent apprehension. "How… How does he expect me to fix things when I've already messed up _ so bad." _She started to sniffle pitifully for the umpteenth time that day. For some reason, her behavior only urged the fusion to keep trying. They could finally sense Steven's backseat thoughts again as if he had just started to pay attention to the situation.

They reached out a hand at Spinel compassionately, a forgiving smile curling on their lips. "We'll fix things one step at a time, and we'll do it together." The pink gem let out a miniscule choked sob, but they could see the faintest hint of a smile finally reaching the edges of her mouth. Her red-rimmed eyes gaped at Stevonnie in awe before her hand slipped into theirs. Taking the initiative, the fusion stood up and tugged Spinel into a full hug. She buried her face into their shoulder, and rubbery pink arms cautiously returned the embrace.

Spinel didn't respond. She didn't need to.

The hug lasted up until a newfound pain sparked in the back of their mind. Stevonnie cringed and loosened the hug while Spinel drew away in shock. Their palms reached up to press against their temples in an attempt to stall the incoming headache. The edges of Stevonnie's vision darkened, and their limbs might as well have been made of lead. Sweat began to pour from their forehead, but they couldn't bring themselves to wipe it away.

_ What's going on…? _

Their single gem then responded with a dimmed swirl as if it were answering their question. 

_ Steven? Steven! Are you there? _They could hear Connie mentally calling out for their other half, but their attention on the physical world was slipping away. The hybrid had been present enough to influence Spinel's hug, but now his consciousness had seemingly vanished from the fusion. If only one side was present, there was no way they could last.

If it wasn't clear enough already, their time was up.

Stevonnie's body glowed white, and Spinel took two more tentative steps backward. Promptly enough, the fusion split back into their two separate pieces. Connie had caught an unconscious Steven as they broke apart, and the duo both landed on the garden's floor with a cushioned crash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Stevonnie want to deal with Spinel? No, not really, but then again how would you feel if you were woken up at three in the morning to run an errand? 
> 
> Let's just say Steven and Connie owe their poor fusion one for that.
> 
> \--
> 
> I already told you all I'm too Baby to kill anyone in this fic
> 
> anyways, hmmgg tired, but we're almost through the fic


	9. A Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie isn't one to let go of the past easily, especially when an incident just happened.
> 
> On the other hand, Spinel realizes what she has to do and who she needs to be.

****As soon as their fusion split, Connie let out a sharp cry of surprise. She knew Stevonnie wouldn't hold out long, but there was no way that forced diffusion _ wouldn't _surprise her. That didn't matter as much as Steven going unresponsive after they accidentally fused. While focusing on that fact, she caught her friend as the fell, her arms easily sliding under his limbs so she was carrying him bridal style. The crash back to the floor only stung for a second, but that was mainly because she cushioned Steven's fall with her own body. 

The mentioned teenager remained silent, and Connie assessed his condition from where they had fallen to the ground. His arms were curled in close to his chest, but they weren't actively gripping at the bandaging. Without wasting a moment, she lifted his shirt to peek at how the wrap was holding up. A few small drops and spots of scarler dotted the vacant white here and there, most likely from being jostled and halsted around in the garden, but that was nowhere near as bad as it could've been. He was sweating pretty badly, which concerned her a bit considering she didn't remember the last time he had _ drank water. _Otherwise, he was just asleep due to his exhaustion. She had felt it within their fusion, and knew it was only a matter of time before he crashed hard.

Connie withdrew a short breath, and struggled to her feet with Steven still swaying in her arms. Getting up and carrying him was much more of a struggle compared to earlier. Her own lack of sleep must be getting to her. Her arms were starting to get sore as well. She squared her own form in order to distribute the weight, and began walking back towards the warp pad. 

"Wait! C-Connie!"

A spark of annoyance jolted through her, but she still halted in her steps. She could hear the soft squeaking of Spinel's shoes as the gem followed after her. 

"Is… is he…" Spinel mumbled dreadfully, and Connie swore that she was about to cry again or be close to it for the thirtieth time that night.

"Unconscious, not dead." The human answered coldly without turning around. She unconsciously pulled Steven even closer to herself as if he'd disappear.

"Oh… Will he be okay?" She asked back nervously. 

"No thanks to what you've put him through." Connie retorted bitterly, and could already imagine the flinch that statement caused. She hardly felt any remorse over that, she shouldn't have to. _ Calm down, Connie. _She tried to tell herself before she opened her mouth again. "He'll be fine. Steven overdid it today and he needs to rest." 

Spinel wrung her hands anxiously, but Connie went back to walking on. She didn't want to waste anymore time in this garden, especially if Steven wasn't conscious to make his own decisions. The longer she stayed in the garden, the more likely _ someone _ was going to get hurt. If Steven woke up to a poofed heart gem, he wouldn't be very pleased.

After stepping on to the warp pad, she turned around to face the rest of the garden. Spinel was standing a few feet away, her eyes downcast as a shadow covered the top half of her face. Her mouth was turned into a deep reminiscent frown. Connie wanted to warp away, she really did, but a soft, low groan from Steven caused her to pause. He tried so hard to get through to her, and after another near-death experience, Stevonnie had made a breakthrough. She made her decision.

Connie sighed deeply as if she was already regretting her oncoming words. That's right, she made up her mind. She lifted her chin up, and tried to put on the kindest expression she could manage despite being royally angry. "Well, are you coming?"

Spinel can only stare at her in shock, the shadows covering her eyes returning to light as she abruptly jerked her head upwards to look at Connie. Her frown had shifted into a tiny, almost endearing smile, and honestly Connie found it a little creepy. Why was she smiling? Why did one sudden question make the gem look so much more at peace? A part of her heart warmed at seeing the distraught gem smile genuinely, even if it was a small one. 

Why did she reach out to Spinel again after all she put them through, no, all she put _ him _through? The warmed feeling was quickly squashed as she suppressed her countless thoughts about Spinel. This wasn't about Spinel directly, as Connie still wanted nothing to do with her. She would never forgive her as easily as Steven did. She wasn’t one to follow the rule of forgive and forget, not this time.

_ Spinel didn’t deserve her sympathy, but it's what Steven would have wanted. _

\--

They had immediately warped back to Steven’s house, the pale moon still shining brightly upon the beach house. That alerted the pair that it was still in the middle of the night, do they hadn't been in the garden too long. Steven hadn't awoken nor stirred during the ride back, but Connie guessed that was a good thing. He had tired himself out today, and his hours of rest earlier could only keep his body upheld for so long with the loss of his gem powers and strengths. 

Connie herself was exhausted, as she hadn't slept since she had gotten up early to prepare for Space Camp. _ Space camp. _ It's funny, really. Her parents were supporting her, but she dropped out in a heartbeat as soon as she heard Steven's cry. Her own plans had been cast aside in the blink of an eye to come to his aid. It didn't matter though, she'd do it again if it ever came to it. 

She laid Steven down delicately within the comforts of his own bed, and covered him up with his blankets that had been tossed aside. Connie stifled a yawn with the palm of her hand, and slid down to sit on the wooden floor. She took off her sword strap and placed it in her lap before leaning against the bed frame. It wasn't exactly the most ideal spot, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to leave his side to sleep. Mister Universe hadn't returned yet after he took the gems out of the house, and the whole Spinel ordeal was pretty much dealt with. 

_ Spinel. _

Connie jerked her sleepy gaze up to the glass doors only to temporarily meet eyes with the mentioned gem. Spinel whipped her head away to watch over the beach instead. She was silently standing outside with her hands gripping the guard rails on the balcony, and for a moment Connie had forgotten that the gem had came back with her thanks to her currently occupied focus point. It seemed that the gem had not made a move to come into the room, and decided to wait outside.

Connie stretched out her legs in front of her, and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She was not going to attempt to converse with her again, as that's the last thing she wanted to do after the accidental Stevonnie mess she just got out of. The option of shooing her off was shoved aside, as she didn't really _ want _to be rude. She just didn't trust Spinel around Steven right now. Their talk earlier had mellowed Spinel out, but for some reason there was a nagging sense in the back of her mind that wanted the gem to keep her distance for the time being.

What she _ did _ know was that Spinel would not attack him again.

Her eyes dropped again, and she snuggled closer to the bed frame. Staying awake was getting tough, and it didn't appear that Spinel would be interacting with them directly. One leg drawled up near her while the other stayed stretched out. It didn't take long for Connie to fall asleep herself, her cheek resting upon the part of Steven's blanket that was hanging off of the bed.

-۵-

Spinel peered through the glass door as she watched Connie placed Steven into bed. She wouldn't dare walk into the room while the sword wielder was still highly upset at her. She understood that she made _ too many mistakes. _If Spinel was in Connie's place, she wouldn't blame her.

_ After all, how would you feel if someone tried to kill your _ ** _best friend? _ **

A pinprick of jealousy coursed through her gem at the thought of a best friend. As she thought of Steven, the thought was instantly cancelled in her mind. He deserved a better friend, and from what Spinel could see, he had the perfect one right there with him. Truthfully, she wasn't sure of how she could become friends with anyone after what she had gone through and done. Spinel didn't understand what a true friendship was, but what Pink Diamond did to her was not it. Her eyes softened as she gazed at the duo within the house, but the girl locked eyes with her, so Spinel turned her attention back to the beach with a flush of embarrassment.

If she wanted to learn what a friendship can really mean, there was a perfect example nearby. Spinel wasn't ready to talk to them, not yet, but she eventually will be. That didn't mean things were going to get easier for her. Trying to make friends with Steven would _ never _ be easy, so the best she can do is support him from the sidelines. The gem just couldn't understand why the boy was kind enough to practically forgive her after what she had done, but then again, she really didn't understand _ him. _

Before she could accept anyone elses forgiveness, she had to learn how to accept her own. There was a personal road to redemption to follow, and this time she'd keep others out of it. As she witnessed the world around her, she noticed that her injector still had itself planted within the earth on the hill. She was going to change for the better instead of changing for the worst, and she knew just where to start. 

After all, there's always going to be more work left to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mellower chapter to close off the main story, but I've still got a decently sized epilogue to go through. 
> 
> It's weird because I never planned for this to turn into a full on chapter fic, especially since I've never wrote one before, but here I am.
> 
> I'm going to cover quite a bit of content in the epilogue such as what happened to Spinel after that night and if Connie ever learned to forgive her, so even if it isn't centered on the main story anymore, the epilogue will still fill in some holes! I have no idea if I'm going to split the epilogue into multiple chaps or not, but 10 is the bare minimum.


	10. Epilogue 1: Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All deep wounds leave scars, both physical and mental. Unfortunately for Steven, it's both. After everything that has happened, he has to learn to come to terms with it all before he can really move on.

A quiet, calming tune wavered over the beach as Steven strummed his guitar against the sounds of the lapping tides. He faced the ocean, his back turned to the temple while his legs were stretched out into the sand. He closed his eyes, and drew in a breath with a peaceful smile. The Earth was safe.  _ He  _ was safe. Everything was alright. The teenager shifted his body to where he was laying against the warm sand that was heated by the rays of the evening sun. 

The last time he had felt this way, everything had gone wrong. 

He was fine. He was  _ fine.  _ Everything was okay this time. He just needed to keep-

"Hey, Ste-"

The boy yelped in surprise at the sudden voice that interrupted the tranquility. The note he was playing on his guitar went sour as he abruptly rolled onto his side, and a pink bubble surrounded him. His hand instinctively gripped at his chest, and he stared blearily up at who had said his name. Through the pink bubble, Connie blinked at him in confusion. Steven could read the concern on her face through the pink hue, and he sighed. The bubble dropped, and Steven let his forehead fall into his waiting hand.

It had been three months.  _ Three  _ months, yet he was still jumping out of his sandals whenever someone said his name. 

"Sorry Connie, I was distracted again." He mumbled half to himself, a dim spark of shame and embarrassment flushing his cheeks. 

"Why are you the one apologizing?" Connie asked, a hand now placed on her hips. "I was going to swing by later after seeing you relaxing on the beach, but then I remembered that I have an exam tomorrow that I need to study for, so I'd have to see you now. I bothered you, not the other way around."

"You'd rather handle a  _ Universal _ problem than an exam practice?" He raised a brow slightly while he sat up into a criss cross position. 

"Always." She responded slyly and copied Steven as they both sat to watch the ocean waves. "You said you had a problem? What's up?" 

Steven blanked for an entire moment. "I do?" 

"You literally just said Universal problem, implying that you, Steven Universe, have a problem." Connie restated flatly. Nothing got by her, after all.

"Oh, you caught that." He chuckled nervously, a hand tugging at the collar of his shirt. "No problems here! Everything's a-okay in Steventown." Connie's unamused expression immediately shot him down, causing him to groan. Would it kill Connie to miss a flying que  _ one  _ time? "Okay okay, fine. I'll spill." 

"As you should."

"Right. Well." Steven started off awkwardly. How was he supposed to tell her this to where she didn't get mad? "You know how I said I was going to tell the gems about… me… as soon as they got their memories back and I got my powers back?"

"Mhm." Connie nodded in affirmation, but then blinked widely at him. "What did they say?" She asked him in anticipation, and that only made his internal guilt rise even higher. 

"That's the problem." He laced his own fingers together and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Was it that bad?" 

"Um.. I might've, y'know,  _ not  _ toldthematall." Steven spat out the last few words into a single strand and prayed to the stars that she didn't catch it.

_ "Steeeveeen." _ His friend dragged her own hands down from her eyes to her chin. "You aren't being serious, right?" Her eyes searched his face as if he had something to hide, but only sincerity and honesty plagued his own expressions. He wasn't exactly hard to read, and he knew it. "...You're serious."

"I tried, really!" He defended while throwing his hands up in front of him. He really did try once, but he was just afraid that it would have backfired. "I couldn't think of what to say without sounding stupid!" He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. What was he supposed to say?  _ Hi guys! While you all were factory reset I almost got murdered by a scythe-wielding maniac that wasn't actually a maniac because it was all just my mom's problem again!  _ "I'm okay. We're okay. The Earth is okay. That's all they need to know."

"This isn't something that you can sweep under the rug, they deserve to know about what happened to you!" The other teenager argued back, equally frustrated but for different reasons.

"They won't understand!" Steven shouted back. "How am I supposed to make them accept the fact that I was going to die and they sat back and did nothing?!" His own nails dug into his scalp as he clenched his hands with an even greater force. If he told them, he'd break them. He already knew that they felt endless guilt after what happened in White's head, and there's no way he could bring that issue back to the surface. They didn't deserve that. 

Connie remained silent for a moment. "Why do you always do this?" She mumbled almost inaudibly. Steven noticed that she was no longer looking directly at him. That detail alone dared him to ask the next question in response.

"...Do what?"

He watched as Connie began to tremble in what seemed to be anger. The girl in question jumped up from where she was sitting, and growled through her teeth. "You act like your own issues don't mean anything!"

_ Your own issues. _

With that statement, certain memories began flooding back.

_ Bismuth and the breaking point. A gem impaled by the sword she created. Jasper's corruption and the realization that it was his mom's fault. The rubies he sent flying off into the endless depths of space and how he had almost died due to oxygen deprivation. White's incredibly large and menacing hand ripping his own gem out of his body and how each of his halves felt whilst he was apart. Finally, the scythe tearing right through his shield and across his flesh as if nothing had blocked it at all. The feeling of fear and shock as his own powers couldn't even save him. The feeling of agony yet bliss as he bled out against the dark green grass.  _

They didn't need to know. They already knew enough. He couldn't.  _ He couldn't.  _

_ "Because they don't!"  _ He yelled aloud, tears now beginning to build up at the base of his eyes. Connie jerked backward as if she had been struck. He breathed in and out several times, and swallowed back a sob that was rising in his throat. "There's so much we have to do that's so much more important than how I'm feeling." Steven continued to lament, his voice now mellowing out after his initial shout. His hands slipped from his head and placed into the sand as his knees drawled up into his chest. "I don't want to burden others with my problems anymore."

"Steven."

He didn't look up. 

_ "Steven."  _ She tried again, but he wouldn't listen to her. He didn't need to hear about how awful he was being for not sharing his own thoughts and feelings. Steven didn't need her diving into the deep end of his problems. The last thing he wanted to do was burden her too. 

Strong yet protective arms wrapped around his torso, and he could feel Connie snuggling her head against his shoulder. "You aren't, nor will you  _ ever  _ be a burden. You're important to the gems, you're important to your dad, you're important to  _ me."  _ She spoke softly, yet certainly to him. He was sure that he was crying now as hot tears slipped from his eyes. Steven was still unable to speak, as his entire throat felt sticky and clogged even after he tried to swallow the feeling away. 

"Promise me that you'll never think your feelings are invalid again." Connie asked him with an underlying shakey tone. He hated when he made her act like this because of him. Could he really promise that? After all he's been through, is that a promise he could even keep? Steven thought about the people he called his family, and he made his decision.

"I promise."

He grabbed her hand with his, and they sat together on the beach until the stars began to twinkle in the night sky above. Hardly any words had been exchanged since their talk, but that didn't matter. They didn't need to talk to know how they both felt. Only then after what seemed like an eternity did he decide that would tell them. He would tell the gems not for their sake, but for his own.

───

When Steven decided that he'd tell them, he meant it. In fact, he didn't sleep the night after his talk with Connie. He had asked the gems to meet him in the house that very next morning. Whether it be out of anxiety or determination, the hybrid boy didn't move from the couch until the sun rose above the horizon the next morning. He sat with his fingers laced, and his head resting upon them as he waited for the gems to either warp in or come out of their rooms.

Around right after dawn, Amethyst came strolling out of her room with her eyes closed and arms crossed behind her head. She cracked open an eye to look around, and jumped backward when she caught sight of Steven. He blinked up at her expectantly, as he was ready to get this over with as soon as possible. "Hey dude! I didn't think you'd be up for another-" The purple gem turned her head to where she was glancing out the windows with a squint, "two-ish hours or something." 

He didn't care for casual conversations, as he was too caught up in his own thoughts to think of what to say. Steven decisively patted the couch cushions next to him, and he could just observe the expression shift in her face. She obliged upon noticing his mood, and plopped down unceremoniously next to him. He  _ knows  _ she's already worrying, and it made him feel bad pre-maturely. He hoped the other gems would be here soon. 

To his surprise as well as satisfaction, both Garnet and Pearl arrived in a beam of light as the Temple's warp pad activated close to a minute after Amethyst sat down. Garnet took the initiative and sat down next to Steven despite him not making a move since they arrive. She could probably take a hard guess on what he was going to talk about anyways. That's assuming she doesn't  _ already  _ know somehow.

"Good morning, Steven!" Pearl chirped sweetly while adjusting her jacket. "You said you wanted to speak to us this morning, but Garnet wanted to come back here as early as possible." She announced while tapping her chin quizzically. He nodded, but his eyes must have unconsciously darted to the couch again, as Pearl frowned in concern and placed herself next to Garnet. The white gem said nothing else, but he could see the three gems around him exchanging nervous glances with each other.

He was already making them freak out and he had yet to speak. It was already too late to back out of this now. 

The four of them sat in silence for a moment before Amethyst broke the tension. "So uh, what's the plan, Ste-man? I thought morning conversations weren't your thing." She draped her arms against the back of the couch, apparently trying to look as casual as possible. It was definitely a facade to try and make him feel normal, but nothing was going to ease his anxieties until it was all over.

Steven decided not to make eye contact with the gems, but instead, he had his head tilted down towards the floor. He had to start this off slow. "So… guys…" The three gems perked up to listen beside him. "You know about Spinel and her injector, right?"

"I do believe you told us that much already." Pearl nodded in affirmation.

"Uh, yeah. Pink Betty Spaghetti dropped a mega injector and bounced a day later after flipping our reset switches." The purple gem added with her less than professional recollection of details.

Okay, so they knew that much. There was still the  _ fun part  _ left to explain.

"Yeah… there's  _ kind of  _ a few important details that I  _ might  _ have left out." Steven stated sheepishly. He bit the inside of his lip in thought for a moment, but a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder solidified his focus. He glanced over at Garnet who merely nodded at him with a small smile.  _ Alright, she  _ definitely _ knew there was more to it.  _ "There's something I need to show you."

He inhaled and exhaled deeply before grabbing the bottom of his blue shirt. The shirt slowly lifted upwards, first revealing his gem, and then a pale, white scar that ran diagonally from his left shoulder all the way to his right hip. Pearl was the first one to react, as a sharp gasp escaped her mouth before it was muffled with her hand. Garnet followed after with a click as she shoved her visor further back onto her face. Amethyst stared at him with her mouth agape before shouting a resounding _ "Dude, what the fuck?!" _

"Amethyst!" Pearl promptly scolded despite it being partially muffled by her hand.

Steven yanked his shirt back down self-consciously, and shut his eyes tight. They were staring at him. He could feel their worried eyes burning holes through his body. He shouldn't have showed them. He never should have lifted his shift. Every single day since they had their memories back, he avoided doing as much as stretch in fear of them seeing his scar. Now that he showed them, there would be an endless sea of questions that he'd never know how to answer correctly. It was too much-

"Steven, please. We need to know what happened." Garnet pleaded calmly, though he could sense a swirling feeling of desperation hidden beneath her voice. Her voice grounded him back to the present, and he shuddered out a breath. Steven had to speak before he wouldn't be able to talk about it anymore. It was only a matter of time before he would start drowning in his own thoughts. It was now or never.

He swallowed through the thickness in his throat one last time, and began to explain bit by bit, piece by piece.

He told them about the glowing pink scythe and what it did to his living human flesh, and did what he could to ignore the distressed gasps and cries. He told them about how he shifted in and out of consciousness and how he feared that each time he blacked out would be his last. Steven also ended up voicing his terrors as his own drying blood coated his fingers, and how a metallic scent filled the air wherever he awoke. The gems all had wide eyes full of terror, but he kept speaking through it.

At some point in the mix, he found himself in Garnet's lap, babbling incoherently and sobbing away as if he were a little kid again. Luckily, she didn't seem to mind. She never minded. He had completely abandoned the couch cushion in favor of Garnet's lap, and as a result, Amethyst and Pearl only scooted in closer. 

After the initial explanation was over, he was a snotty and crying mess. All he had to do was bring up Spinel as a whole. In order to even think about speaking again, he had to compose himself a bit better. He couldn't quell the underlying rage of his guardians against the pink gem if he didn't. He took a few minutes to cease his endless tears, and at least be able to form a coherent sentence. 

"You're all angry, but so was she." Steven lamented boldly. The air around him turned sour. "Mom abandoned her for thousands of years and… and…" He stifled away a hiccup. "She was so lost. She was so scared. The only friend she knew was gone, and it was  _ her  _ fault again. In her overwhelming sadness sh-she almost-" He broke down again, his hands now briskly palming at the corner of his eyes in a poor attempt to stop the flow of his tears. 

"Steven…" Pearl reached out to brush his cheek, and he made no attempt to stop her. He then leaned into her touch, and stared into the open air in front of him.

"I was dying. I was dying and I couldn't even save myself like I usually could. I could feel myself slipping away the more I bled out. I was going to  **die** because of a mistake  _ my own mom _ made." He really did feel like a small child again as he was reduced back to wailing and sniffling. His voice constantly hiccuped, and there was no point in trying to stabilize himself anymore. He pressed further against Pearl's hand and Garnet's chest, still sobbing all the while. "I was so scared. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to  _ die."  _ He repeated the last statement, his voice finally breaking. All that was left behind was some disgusting crying, yet he still felt more at peace with every word that had slipped through his teeth.

Right after he finished his sentence, Pearl pulled him close for a crushing yet gentle hug. "I'm sorry that we weren't there to save you, Steven." He felt her tears splash onto the back of his shirt. "I'm so sorry…"

Amethyst was next. She snuggled right up next to his side, and laid her head against his chest. "We'll always be here for you man. We won't  _ ever  _ let anything like that happen again, and I mean it." 

Finally, Garnet sealed the gap by pulling the other three closer together as she surrounded their backs with her arms. Her visor had disappeared into a sparkle of light, and all three of her eyes were dripping with tears. "I see so many futures where you get hurt, but I never imagined that one of them would come true. I'm sorry too." The embrace only tightened. "We're here now."

For the first time since Spinel's attack, Steven finally felt truly at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! Here, take a chapter instead of candy.
> 
> This might not be therapy, but it's close enough for now! Do I like to solve emotional problems with hugs and overdue conversations? Hell yeah I do and you can't stop me.
> 
> The epilogue is going to consist of multiple parts, as I didn't want to shove it all into one big chapter as it'd interrupt the flow.


	11. Epilogue 2: Happily Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spinel still doesn't quite understand the world she returned to, but maybe after tonight she will. Growth is a slow process, but at least she isn't alone anymore.

It had been a week since his talk with the gems. They hardly let him out of their sight up until the day before, but he couldn't blame them for acting that way. They didn't want him turning into a glorified Stevenkabob or something, but now they were all back to doing their usual things with the gems in Little Homeworld. Progress could only be held off so long. His feet swung off the front of his bed as he moved towards the edge. No more than a minute later, the sliding door on his right slid over with a whoosh as Connie poked her head in the frame.

"Hey, Steven? You've got some kind of message on your communicator from Homeworld."

"What? A message?" Steven tilted his head. The Diamonds usually called him live, and if he didn't answer, at least one of them would fly down to Earth themselves. No one ever sent a message, as he wasn't exactly on good terms with most gems that chose to sulk around on Homeworld.

He hopped off of his bed and followed after Connie as she reopened the door to his base. "You know you don't have to check my panel or anything anymore. I can walk wherever I want without my helicopter gems moms yelling at me." He commented while scrunching his nose. Steven could just imagine what it would be like if Connie had answered a call from the Diamond's while she was in Steven is not leaving his house. Period. mode. Luckily (for them), they hadn't.

"You suck at checking it. This message was sent last night mister I'm on top of the universe." Connie teased with an additional eyeroll.

Steven playfully rolled his eyes back in response, and then tapped on the blinking message in the corner of his screen. The pop-up expanded and cleared to reveal the familiar pink gem with black tear streaks on her cheeks. Spinel? Connie's arms fell to her side in apparent disappointment, but she didn't say anything about it.

Spinel was smiling sheepishly. "Hi… Steven. I hope you've been recovering well." The girl next to him snorts, but he shushed her with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry that I didn't help you with your friends. I figured that they wouldn't want to see me after what I did to you and your planet."

Steven really wanted to tell her that it was okay and that the gems were only a little murderous after what all he told them. Unfortunately enough, this was just a pre-recorded video.

Video-Spinel starts knitting her fingers together. "I went back to homeworld, y'know? To start my own life and all, but I-" She pauses, and the hesitance is clear from her gestures. "I can't." The gem started to shake her head. "My words mean nothing over this replayable video. I need to talk to you myself, so please… meet me at…" Her expression shifts to one of confusion mid-sentence. She bounces out of visibility and comes right back moments later with some kind of gem notebook in her hand. "At this thing at sundown tomorrow."

The pages are held up directly at the screen to reveal a decently crude drawing, but Steven isn't one to judge based on drawing ability. He paused the video with a single tap so he'd be able to decipher the scribbles. The drawing looked like some kind of slope with a particularly tall and skinny rectangle towards the top. Was that the lighthouse? Not exactly the best place to meet, but okay. The message was sent last night, so did that mean he would meet her in a few hours? He tapped the play button again.

Spinel slumped slightly, her gaze dropping from the screen to her feet. "I-If you don't want to meet me, that's fine! Just don't check your warp logs if that's the case." She chuckles nervously, and her hands slide behind her back. "See you there, or not...?"

The pop-up closed, leaving Steven to think about what he just saw. Something was different about her, but he couldn't place his finger on it. Maybe Spinel really has changed. She seemed so much more... tame? in the message she sent. If anything, the only emotion he sensed from her was anxiety, and that was aimed at him full force. She mentioned the warp system at some point too. With that in mind, he opened the recent warp history on his warp pad.

Authorization Granted

Malfunctions: N/A

Gem Type: Spinel

Location: Earth

He raised a brow, and brought a hand to his chin. The gem must have warped to Earth after she sent the message to him last night. That meant she was waiting around on Earth somewhere.

"Oh no. I know that face. Steven, don't you dare." Connie challenged him while pointing an accusing finger at him.

"What face?" He responded innocently as if he had no idea what she was talking about.

"That's your I'm totally considering doing something dumb and I know it face." She clarified further, and basically squinted her eyes at him in suspicion.

"I'm not going to do something dumb!" Steven raised his hands in front of himself defensively. "It's just Spinel." In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best thing to say to Connie of all people.

"Spinel has literally tried to kill you at least twice. In the same day."

"Yup."

"She wants to meet you again, and you're going to comply just like that?!"

"Sure."

"There's a chance that this is all a setup for something sinister again."

Steven wasn't seeing her point in this interrogation. "Okay."

Connie performed her telltale sign of being either annoyed or disappointed by crossing her arms in front of her torso. "You're still going to meet her, aren't you?"

Steven combats her arm crossing with a nonchalant shrug. "Yeah." Well, at least he was being honest with her. He really didn't think Connie would believe him if he said he wouldn't. His best friend groaned before facepalming loudly. She wasn't going to change his mind even if she was disappointed in him. Connie's dark hair brushed against his cheek as she passed by him and headed to the door.

"Where are you going?" His sandals slapped against the floor quietly as he took two steps after her.

"I have something to do at home, but call me before and after you talk to Spinel, okay?" She answered and stepped out of the room before he was given the chance to reply. He ran a hand through his curly mop with a sigh. Today was going to be one of those days.

-۵-

Spinel walked up the slope on the way to the lighthouse, her brows creased in thought. It would be an hour from now until she had to face Steven again. What was she doing? She really doubted if she was really ready to talk to him. Over the past three months she had spent her time reflecting on herself and her actions, but what did she learn? What was there to learn? She messed up, and didn't know how to fix it.

Earth time itself was a foreign concept to her. Was three months too long or too little time to think about redemption? Would there ever be a time that she could even consider proving herself by apologizing to him? It was too late to head back to Homeworld now, and there was nothing she could do to avoid him. She bit the inside of her cheek while continuing to amble towards the lighthouse, but her trance was broken as the feeling of cold steel traced the outskirts of her chin.

A surprised gasp slipped through her lips, and she tensed as fear coursed through her gem. Her frightened eyes met sullen human ones. A teenage girl, Connie, was holding her trademarked sword right to her neck when she did nothing. She knew this human, how could she ever forget?

"What are y-"

"Why do yo-

Both voices paused at the same time. Spinel broke out into a cold sweat and gulped. For a child this girl knew how to be intimidating. "Go ahead." She willed, figuring that she would be the first to speak anyway.

Connie didn't pass up the opportunity, but before she spoke she exhaled through her nose. "Why do you want to talk to Steven so badly? Didn't I already tell you that you've done enough recently?" Her voice was cold, demanding. This isn't the first time she had used the tone on Spinel, but that doesn't mean it's any less impactful. Her message reaches its point at the sword tilts her head upwards to where they meet gazes again.

"I-" Spinel contemplates her options. This girl is a swordfighter, and this particular sword is sharp enough to poof a gem with a single slash. Would she even poof her if Steven was going to be here soon? It's not like she wanted to find out anyways. "No, my words are for him. We can talk when he gets here, okay?"

"No, I can't wait. I actually have to be home by seven, but that's not the point!" Connie temporarily rambled before dismissing her add-on with a wave of her hand. "Steven is my friend, and I'm not going to stand by and let you hurt him again." She growled. The tip of the blade poked against her throat, which would have been more threatening had she not been a gem. Despite being in apparent danger, Spinel sensed some form of personal hesitance from Connie.

Connie was respecting Steven's wishes by not outright attacking her. From what she had witnessed months prior, the two were very close. The human girl was looking out for her hybrid friend. She saw a threat, and was trying to protect him from it. Spinel didn't blame her at all. Memories of incidents like that cannot be forgotten nor repressed so easily. It's not Connie's fault that she doesn't want her around, it's her own.

All she has left to give is the truth.

She can feel herself start to tremble. Anxiety crawled through her gem as words attempted to form on her tongue. "No more games." She paused to grit her teeth. "No more betrayal. I'm done." Her voice was gruff at the final word with trembles and whispers anywhere in between. She would not cry. She promised herself that she was done crying. There was no reason to scream or drown in her own sorrows any longer. Spinel was Spinel, and that was it. Her voice dropped to a complete whisper, but she could tell that Connie leaned in closer to listen.

"I just want to tell him that I'm sorry."

The sword suddenly disappeared from beneath her chin. The swordfighter slid the sword back into the casing that was strapped on her back, and then dropped her hands to her sides. The adrenaline and fear that was holding Spinel up vanished along with the sword, and she fell onto the ground backwards in relief. She had changed her mind.

The sound of a foot grinding into the grass caught her attention. Connie was no longer staring at her, but instead, over at the ocean. "I don't know what it is about you, but something is telling me that you really meant what you said." She adjusts the bottom of her shirt, a thoughtful expression garnering her face. "Or maybe it's just Steven rubbing off on me." The girl shrugged, and proceeded to face her again.

A hand is held out in her direction. Her pupils darted from the hand and back to her own pink ones that had been digging into the soil. Hesitance is shoved aside as her right hand clasps Connie's own hand. Right as their hands make contact, the human drags the gem up on her feet. Connie pushed back a strand of dark hair out of her face and huffed. "Truce?"

Deep down, she wonders if this whole thing is a trick or a ploy as a start to a revenge plot. On the surface though? She nods back in agreement while wearing a timid smile. "Truce."

As if Spinel was not already confused enough, Connie walked away from her to pick up a bag that had been lying in the grass. Her demeanor is entirely different compared to the last times she's seen her. She can definitely tell that something has changed as the human girl passes right by her with lax shoulders and even strides. Before she traveled too far, she paused in her tracks and cast a side glance back at her. "I guess I'll see you around, Spinel."

Spinel stood with her mouth agape. Not only did Connie acknowledge her by using her name, but she also lost the sharp edge that had been cradled in her tone only moments before. There was no harsh nor condescending bite in her farewell. The bravado that the human girl had put up vanished somehow. Was this really all some kind of right of passage? If it was, does this mean she passed?

All she could manage was a quick shake of her head after the girl disappeared from sight. It's possible that she's overthinking things, but maybe Connie had decided to give her another chance after all. There was only one thing left now that could secure her chance. It was the reason she came to Earth in the first place.

It wasn't long until she had to have a heart to heart with Steven.

\--

The sun was setting over the endless ocean, the water turning into brilliant shades of gold and blue against an orange sky. Spinel absently picked at a blade of grass near her feet as she leaned against the lighthouse with her legs drawn up in front of her. As she expected, Steven was going to be there any second.

"Spinel? Are you here?"

Speak of the diamond and he shall appear.

She perked up immediately upon hearing his voice. Right up ahead stood Steven sporting a black tee with his usual pink jacket. One of the first finer details that she noticed was that his skin was no longer pale and clammy as it had been the last time she saw him. On this planet, so many things could change in a span of a few months, and it astounded her. "I'm here!" She shouted while jumping right to her feet with a loud squeak from her rubbery shoes. Steven stopped walking about two feet away from her, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"You wanted to talk to me, right? What's up? How's Homeworks?" He asked almost casually, but never met her eye to eye.

He was avoiding eye contact on purpose. What was she kidding? Of course he didn't want to spare her a glance. She didn't deserve to be in his presence again, yet here he was. Her throat began to close up on its own, and the only thing that came out of her mouth was air.

Steven tilts his head in confusion at her lack of response. "Uh. Are you… okay, Spinel?"

You're making him worry about you again. Stop trembling! You shouldn't be the one shaking like a leaf. Her trembling wouldn't stop, and if anything, it only worsened. Go back to the garden. You're not ready for society again. She refused to cry in front of Steven again, but that was the only part of her complying with her wishes. You'll only make things worse for yourself. Negativity swarmed her thoughts like an endless field of butterflies, and the voice in the back of her mind multiplied. You'll pay for what you've done. Stop making a fool out of yourself and submit.

and she did.

Spinel dropped to one knee, the other foot firmly planted into the ground. One hand gripped her propped knee and the other clutched the grass beside her. In a way, she was mimicking the kneel of a warrior. She gathered up all of the courage she could muster, and her apology began. "I'm sorry. I wronged you severely when I took my anger out on you and you planet. I hurt you and your friends by extension, and everything I did was wrong." Her head managed to dip lower, and the grip on the grass tightened. There was no way to look at him, she refused to. "I'll accept any kind of consequence that you have to offer, I deserve it. I'm sorry. You shouldn't forgive a worthless gem like me, so I leave my fate to the diamond I almost destroyed."

Steven was completely silent, and for a moment, Spinel feared the worst. She shut her eyes tightly as she waited for the inevitable end. How would she go out? A sword to the gem? A permanent bubbling? Would her shards be crumbled into dust?

"Spinel, get up. Please get up." His voice sounded as if it were pleading, and that's what shocked her the most. Spinel lifted her head to meet his gaze, but all she saw was a raw sense of terror and disgust.

"Why? I tried to eliminate a dia-"

"Stop!" He interjected with a desperate shout. Spinel's mouth shut with a clack as soon as he raised his voice. "Don't treat me like a Diamond. I'm not like her, and I'm not like any of them."

"Don't you want revenge for what I did to you? Aren't you angry at me?" Spinel asked in bewilderment. She didn't understand Earth, and she didn't understand him. What did he want from her?

"No!" Spinel recoiled from his shout, but that didn't stop him from speaking. "No, Spinel. You made a mistake. We all make mistakes both big and small, but you know what?" One hand retracted itself from his pockets, and he gripped his shirt where it was overlaying his gem. "That makes us who we are. I'm my own person, my own being, and so are you. We're all equals with our own sense of individuality. You don't have to follow orders or demands anymore." Steven's voice had grown softer by the end of his spiel.

He stepped forward, and kneeled so they were at the same level. The hand on his gem had slid up to his upper chest. "So don't treat yourself like a broken toy that can just be replaced." An empathetic smile governed his face, and she couldn't see any trace of lies hiding in his expression. He stands back to full height, and Spinel follows his example.

His words were still sinking in, but the one part that stuck out to her was that she was her own person. The gravity of the situation hit her in the head, and she sighed. How could she be so blind? His explanation just made everything she said so much more… awkward. "I made you uncomfortable again." She commented aloud without meaning to.

"No, it's okay!" He shook his head profusely. "Thank you for talking to me, I appreciate it." Steven grinned at her with a thumbs up. Her doubt might have been a bit too evident, as his grin faded. "I mean it, Spinel. You're still learning, and I'm happy that I get to be the one to help you along."

"You shouldn't have had to." Spinel argued emptily.

"You're right, I didn't have to." Steven shrugged, "but I did."

"I don't want to waste anymore of your time, so I should… you know… head back to Homeworld." She mumbled guiltily. He had spent so much time either suffering or worrying because of her. She had nothing else to say, as it was just a waste of time for him.

"You didn't waste my time, I promise!" He insisted while raising his hands above him. His lips pursed in thought, but his grin returned shortly after. "Actually, I have an idea."

"Huh?"

"Mind if I walk back with you? We're going to the same place anyway with it being my house and all." He suggested almost too cheerfully.

"Oh, I guess not." Spinel muttered back. It's not like she could really stop him from walking with her. Like he said, it is his house in the first place. His grin only widened further at her answer, and the two strolled off in the direction of the beach house.

\--

No words have been exchanged since they left the hill. They walked back to the temple in silence, but at least it wasn't the awkward kind. It was just a shared walk back to the same designation, and besides, she liked company. Being alone would never suit her after everything she had gone through, and maybe that's why he offered in the first place. This boy was just too kind for his own good. The only sound that accompanied them on the way back was the crashing of the tides.

She spent most of the walk pondering his words on the hill. It was supposed to be an apology that ended in some kind of punishment, but instead, she had been the one ridiculed and comforted at the same time. Spinel wasn't aware that they had arrived until they ambled into the diamond base. Zoning out is a bad habit that she had yet to break.

Steven typed something in on the control panel, and the warp pad started to glow softly. It was already time to set off again. He glanced at the warp and then nodded to her. "I've set up the warp. Take care of yourself on Homeworld, but don't forget about us here on Earth, okay?"

Earth. The place she had endangered because of her own emotions. The place where she almost killed someone because of her own emotions. The place where she finally learned to control her own emotions. No, she wouldn't forget this place anytime soon. "I don't think I could forget about Earth if I wanted to." She snorted back honestly. A sense of fondness courses through her gem at the sincerity of his words. "I'll be sure to take care of myself now. Thanks for walking me back." Spinel raised her hand in a wave, and stepped into the warp pad.

"Wait! There's one more thing I need to give you before you go!" Steven shouted out of nowhere as she was about to warp off.

"Oh! You don't need to g-"

Steven hopped right onto the warp and dragged her into a bone-crushing hug. Her own shock is imminent. Never in her life did she expect to grow so fond and welcomed by physical content. Her arms encircle him, and she returns the hug back.

"Come back soon, okay? I want everyone to meet the real you when you're ready." He requested kindly as the hug broke apart, and he stepped off of the warp.

It might've taken 6000 years, but now she finally had the chance to be happy. She belonged to no one but herself. She could choose her friends and steer her life in the direction she wanted. Spinel could only describe this foreign feeling within her gem as home even after the light of the warp pad closed in around her.

After 6000 long years of being alone, she finally had a way to work towards her own happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a long month, but I've written out everything for this fic. My longest piece of writing prior to this was 3k words, so this entire thing was such a unique challenge to face. How did an original three-shot turn into full-fledged fic anyway?
> 
> By no means am I finished writing for the SU fandom, as I have plenty of other ideas that I'm excited to bring to light now that this decently sized fic is finished.
> 
> Once again, thank you all for your constant support. I wouldn't have had to motivation to finish this had it not been for you all.

**Author's Note:**

> I should mention that this is inspired by several different AUs of the movie, but with my own specific retelling of events!
> 
> That being said, a huge inspiration for the whole 'scythe working' gimmick was @Spudinacup on Tumblr. I'd encourage you to check out their hella cool comic au with PD!Steebs


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